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"y/n! i'm home!"
the girl wiped at the tears in her eyes furiously in an attempt to make her appearance seem cleaner. her efforts proved futile when shalnark entered the bathroom and asked if she was crying.
"jeez, shal! at least knock!" she fussed, looking down to avoid eye contact.
he tilted his head. "but this is my apartment."
her eyes watered again, but this time for a different reason. they'd been living together for years and shalnark hardly ever acknowledged the fact that she lived there as well. sure, she didn't really pay for anything since she didn't have a job (shalnark was fucking rich. money wasn't a concern for him so what did it matter that she didn't have a job?), but she did all the domestic housework as a form of payment; shalnark was a pain in the ass to clean up after, especially if he brought some of the members of the troupe over. the hollow feeling in her chest returned and y/n tried her best to swallow the knot in her throat. "i-i know."
he stepped in front of her and grabbed her chin roughly, forcing her to look up. he looked down at her quivering lip and let go of her face. shalnark wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her body against his. y/n didn't hesitate to hug him back. her emotions got the best of her and she let out a heart wrenching sob. shalnark rubbed her back and rested his chin on top of her head, knowing that she liked how the action made her feel small. he didn't care to ask what she was crying about. he never did. y/n had always been a cry baby.
"do you want to go lay down?" he asked.
she nodded against his chest to the best of her ability. he released her and grabbed her hand, leading her to his bedroom. y/n's mind clouded with the thought of how warm his hand felt in hers and how maybe, just maybe, the perfect fit was an indication that they were meant to be something else—or perhaps she just wanted to prove kurapika wrong, but why? because he told her that the reason shalnark didn't like her was because of her behavior? he was nothing more than a mere stranger who knew her name and age. alas, y/n knew herself better—she craved validation and approval from those around her, and before the argument, she didn't doubt that her and kurapika would've formed at least a decent friendship. with her persistence and charm, she would have managed to lure him into her inner circle.
why was she thinking about him when her and shalnark were going to be in the same bed? surely, if he didn't like her, he wouldn't have offered, right? y/n's knowledge of any kind of relationship was limited to her contact with the troupe, movies, and television, so even she knew the likelihood of her misinterpreting his actions were high. she held onto her hope that somewhere not far down, he liked her the same way she liked him.
"get on the bed," shalnark demanded. "i'll join you in a minute."
y/n obliged happily. she plopped onto his king sized mattress and made herself comfortable. she inhaled, trying her hardest not to make it too obvious that she was smelling his blanket. it smells like his cologne, she thought absentmindedly. like he promised, shalnark joined her not long after, shuffling his way under the covers. her heart nearly popped out of her chest when he threw an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. she was sure that he could feel it and if he did, he didn't comment on it.
they laid in silence for a few minutes before y/n remembered one of the reasons she was crying.
"shal?"
if it weren't for their close proximity, he wouldn't have heard her. "yes?"
he could sense her hesitation from the way her body tensed. "do you... like me?"
shalnark quirked a brow. did she finally gain the confidence to confess her feelings? if she did, he had some devastating news. "in what sense?"
"as a... friend."
he bit his tongue to keep from laughing. he was grateful she couldn't see his face or else she might've started crying again. not that he would've minded. y/n's crying was a great way to keep her at bay. he was almost always there to make her feel better when she did shed some tears, thus letting him tighten the grip on her reins. "of course i do. we wouldn't be here now if i didn't."
y/n didn't say anything for an approximate ten seconds. "are you sure? are you sure that you aren't just keeping me around because you feel pity for me?"
this time, shalnark didn't hide his laughter. whatever made her sad was doing a number on her emotions. "you know people like me don't feel pity," he chided.
y/n let out a quiet sigh of relief she didn't know she was holding. the sound didn't fall deaf to his ears and he knew she took his words the wrong way. he wasn't going to correct her. if her hopes for the possibility of them engaging in a romance were raised, he wasn't going to rain down on such an interesting parade. neither of them said anything after that.
