Dancing on My Own

A Small Step

Alec was on the phone with his mother as he locked up the store to go pick her up from Luke's house and he rolled his eyes. "I know I didn't tell you about Magnus, but it just happened alright. I didn't think Jace would have taken the picture that's not..No I know you're not mad about.." He got into his car sighing "yes mother. Yes, see you soon." He hung up closing his eyes resting his head on the steering wheel groaning softly. He hadn't seen Magnus since the day they took their walk but they still texted most days to check on one another. He turned the car on heading to pick his mother up really hoping she will drop the conversation surrounding his love life by the time he gets there. He got out of the car once arriving at Luke's place to help her with her bags and she squeezed his arm smiling warmly before getting into the car. She looked over at him as he drove heading back home and she smirked: "come on Alec tell me everything." He sighed "there is nothing to tell. We are friends and we text on occasion. Sometimes I work with him. End of story." She laughed shaking her head "that picture looked like more than just friends." Alec shook his head "drop the subject. It isn't important." Maryse chuckled rubbing Alec's arm gently "my baby is in love of course it is important." Alec glanced briefly at her "it isn't love." She frowned speaking softly "I said the same thing about your dad and Luke and look at me now happy and with three beautiful children." Alec pulled into a parking lot for a cafe so they could get some lunch together and looked over at her. "I love you and I love Luke, but that is not what Magnus and I have. Yes, I am interested. Yes, I like him, but it is a little too soon to be throwing out the I am in love card mom. So please drop it." She looked at him as he got out of the car raising her eyebrow before getting out to follow him. They had a nice lunch together and Alec after getting her bag inside moved to head back to work when she grabbed his wrist. "Sweetheart. Why don't you take the rest of the day off and stay here with me we can plan dinner and then do whatever around here or even go somewhere. I think Max would be excited if we planned something." She tilted her head waiting for a response and Alec let out a breath nodding. "Fine but one mention of Magnus and whatever is going on between us and I am out." She smiled widely and headed to the kitchen to see what they should make.

Alec spent most of the day listening to his mother talk about the trip she and Luke took and he occasionally would make a comment or smile at her. He moved to sit on the couch scrolling through his phone when the front door open and he frowned knowing it wasn't Izzy yet because it's not time for Simon and her to bring Max home. His eyes went wide when he saw Max followed by Magnus. "Monkey? why are you..where is auntie?" Magnus opened his mouth to speak as Alec got up to grab Max and hold him close to his chest. Max hummed softly "auntie was tired and we saw Mags at the store." Alec nodded before letting Max down so he could go say hello to Maryse. "Why did you offer to take him without letting me know?" Magnus held up his hands in innocence and took a step towards Alec. "I was shopping when I ran into Izzy and Simon. Izzy said she was tired but that she still had to take the little one back home. Something about seeing your dad tonight and she wanted to lay down beforehand. I didn't think that it would be an issue if I drove Max home..." Alec took a breath closing his eyes. "You can show up at my work unannounced and you can follow me to my car after I kiss you in the bar. Hell, I don't care if you plan surprise lunch dates and dinner dates but the one thing no one in this family. no one in my life is allowed to do is take my son without telling me. I know when he is with my mother that he is safe. I know when he is with my siblings he is safe. I barely know you, Magnus. I am not saying I don't trust you because I am trying but that is my son. It might not mean much to you because you don't know me but he means the world to me. He is my world. You're very kind for helping out and you're very kind to calm me down when I get stressed by saying you're my stars or whatever but he comes before that. You might be my stars but he's my entire life. He's the world do you understand?" Magnus gently grabbed Alec's hand kissing the knuckles murmuring "breathe Alexander. Let's go upstairs and talk." Alec glanced to make sure his mother and son didn't need him before heading upstairs gesturing for Magnus to follow. Alec leaned against his window once in his room not facing Magnus. "I'm not mad at you. I am mad at my sister for not thinking. Both of you should have texted me at the very least." Magnus shut the door behind him and nodded. "For that I am sorry but Alexander.." Alec shook his head cutting Magnus off in a cool almost authoritative voice. "No but Alexander Magnus. I have dealt with enough in my life to want one thing when it comes to my child.  You don't know me completely and that isn't your fault part of it is mine because I refuse to open up to you but please understand it isn't a trust thing because you're beyond kind but that doesn't stop my hesitation." Alec turned to look at Magnus and he wasn't crying but it was clear in his eyes he was emotional. "You know my siblings and I always grew up side by side. Blood or not we were one unit. When my father left it wasn't that there was a disconnect but it wasn't the same. I never came out. I never said it to anyone. Everyone just sorta assumed I was gay. Then I had some fun times not that many years ago and my dad found out through people talking. He stopped contacting me like he used to. He hasn't ever been mean in fact he still asks when we talk if I have met anyone. My answer is always no. I adopted Max and he tries to be there when he can. I guess he does his best. No one liked the idea of me raising him alone but that's the thing I wasn't alone I had my siblings. I had my mother. Eventually, my siblings moved and I stayed behind. My mom met Luke so what did that leave me? A bakery that sometimes I struggle to run alone because its just me. A house with so many bills I question if I should tell my mom. But there is one thing I can count on always being there the way I need it to be and that's Max. Mom has Luke. My sister Simon and my brother Clary. I have my son. I ask that my one thing and that is he stays the way I need him to be. Constant. I need that one constant thing, Magnus. You have this nice restaurant and this fancy penthouse with designer couches and a kitchen that probably costs more than I'd care to think about. You may not need something to be constant in your life because you have everything practically handed to you but I don't. I wouldn't ask for you to understand either but I am asking you to try and listen or at least respect this." Magnus sat on the foot of the bed and murmured "I was adopted by my father Alec. I grew up with a lot yes. I have everything you just said, but that doesn't mean I don't understand what you need just because I haven't ever needed it. I admit I should have thought things through today and for that I hope you'll forgive me." Alec rubbed his face sighing. "There's nothing to forgive because you didn't do anything wrong I am just worrying too much like I always do." Alec moved to sit by Magnus and he looked at his feet closing his eyes. "I am sorry" Alec murmured softly and Magnus shifted pulling Alec against his side shaking his head. "Don't. This is a learning curve for us both. No reason to be sorry. You have every right to be worried. You are right we don't know one another enough to establish that level of trust when it comes to Max." Alec instinctively shifted to bury his face in Magnus's chest letting out a deep breath. Magnus smiled softly just letting Alec get comfortable perfectly ok with sitting in silence together. "One step at a time Alexander. We will eventually be so in sync it'll be scary." Magnus smiled as Alec chuckled against his chest and he gently rubbed Alec's back happy to have made this step together today no matter how small it was.