To All The Boys I Liked Before

TATBILB: Mr. Best friend

Do you have a boy best friend? It's fun to have one. He would care for you, accompany you, and always make you laugh. Sometimes, you have a slight misunderstanding, but you will eventually resolve it and forgive each other.

What if one day you realized that you like him and confessed? What would happen to your friendship?

I first saw him when we were having a mass because it was the first Friday of the month. It's the school's tradition every month. He was an altar boy, and I find him attractive when I look at him. It turns me on when a guy is God-fearing.

One day, I decided to find his name on Facebook. After some minutes, I found it, and his name was Walter. There's a tag post in his timeline with all the top students in his class. I was shocked because he was on top 1. I had an excuse to chat with him to congratulate him. I chatted with him, and he replied after. He wanted to see me in person, so I told him he would see me tomorrow during lunch. I gave him a clue that it was me if I went with my three friends and carried a laptop. My friends and I went to the canteen for an early lunch the next day. I was not feeling well. When we were going to the canteen, I saw him, and he smiled at me, he realized that it was me. I was shy, and I avoided him. He smiles and stares at me.

It's almost Christmas, and we are practicing for our jingle competition. Walter chatted with me to go to his classroom because he wanted to borrow a Christmas hat. I said I would bring it tomorrow and give it to him during lunch. I handed him the Christmas hat the next day, and we shook hands.

Today is the Christmas jingle competition. Some of the students participated in the event. When our turn was done, I went to my classroom to change, and Walter texted me. He said he wants to go home together and will wait at the canteen. My best friend is also coming with us. I saw him when we went down and went outside the school. When we were inside the jeepney, we were seated beside each other. It felt awkward, but I found a way to enlighten the mood, so I was the one who made the conversation. I keep on talking while he is just smiling. Lots of people are looking at us. He said just to let them be. They are just bitter. When we arrived at my destination, I said goodbye. My friend said that we were so noisy inside the jeepney.

A few days later, Walter and I became close. We are best friends and call each other Bestcial, short for special best friends. It's his suggestion. We would chat every day and go home together. Most people mistake us as a couple, but we are just best friends. He also knows that I had a crush on him because he is the one who asked, and I'm just being honest. I'm glad because our friendship didn't change. Sometimes, we had misunderstandings, but we would talk it out and forgive each other.

Once, his friends asked me if I liked Walter and if he would court me. Does he have a chance? I just shrugged at them because I'm not ready to answer their question, but I like him. I was also shocked when Walter asked me if he would court me, does he have a chance. I answered yes, but it depends. Why did he ask me that? Oh well, I just shrugged it off.

The most unforgettable moment I had with him was when we went home late, probably around midnight, because of a landslide. It's hard to ride a jeepney because it's all full. I texted my father and said to come to pick me up instead. I told Walter to go by himself because my father would pick me up, and he agreed. When I got home, I chatted with Walter. He said that he is also back home. He is also worried about me because he doesn't fulfill his duty as my best friend. I said it was okay and didn't need to say sorry.

One day, I saw him walking with a girl. I felt a little jealous. His friends said that her name was Jessel, and Walter liked her. My first impression of her is I don't like her. I told Walter that I didn't like Jessel. He just scolded me not to be like that to her. When I got to know her, she was not that bad. I don't like her; she is super clingy and like branded items.

Fast forward, and it's our graduation. Walter and I are on the Dean's list. When the ceremony was over, we took pictures. I wanted to take a picture of us together as a remembrance, but I felt too shy to approach him, so I didn't get our pictures taken.

Time goes by, and we are in college. We have different schools. I was shocked when he chatted to go home together. I said, ok. We went home together and talked about how we were and some random topics.

A few months later, we didn't chat often because we were both busy, but I always had time to chat with him, but he would not reply. I felt angry at him, and we argued that day. It almost broke our friendship. It's his fault, after all. He apologized to me at the end.

I always overthink and ask myself, "Is he my boy best friend?" Because his actions are not like that at all. Now, he only replies to some of my messages. I thought he would chat or greet me and say how I was doing, but he never did. He doesn't care at all. He doesn't know the true meaning of being best friends. I didn't chat with him. I want him to chat with me first because I always chat with him first. I'm just waiting for the time that he will chat with me. I also realized that I only like him as my best friend and nothing more than that.

If you are interested in our story, read "Best Friends."

You will know our story and what happened to us at the end.