A one fleeting encounter

IV

It's now 4:49 and according to him we're now nearing to the exact location of Mr. Severino. I can already tell that I'm getting a little nervous... because I'm might meet people who have known me from the past. Ano kayang sasabihin nila? Anong itatanong nila? Will they care if they ever see me? Kilala pa kaya nila 'ko? I'm not hoping for a friendly gestures and smiles from those who're not even a close acquaintance, but I'm more concern to those who have known me so well... or probably not.

Bahala na, alam ko namang hindi rin maiisawan 'to at darating din talaga ako sa punto na kailangang harapin ko sila kahit na mahirap. Kahit hindi pa talaga ako handang humarap.

Nakatingin kami pareho sa magkabilang parte ng kalsada. Nadaanan namin ang iba't ibang terminal kung saan ang hintayan ng pampublikong masasakyan. Lights are still visible to some light post and people, those who have greater responsibilities in their shoulders, were already wide awake and ready to brave yet another day. Some were fetching the moment with a hopeful smile, while some are already evidently stressed as they wait for a public vehicle. Pagod na agad kahit hindi pa nagsisimula talaga ang kalbaryo, dahil sa paghihintay pa lang siguro talagang mapapagod ka na.

I looked at him and I no longer know what's running in his mind, I wish I know so that I can already formulate an answer if ever he demand something—for I know that he's itching to ask for more. No matter how much I asked him not to, he deserves everything that there is to uncover; all of those people whom I have left hanging, I guess, deserves a less shittier explanation.

Habang walang umuusal nang sasabihin, nakita ko na nagtitipa siya nang mensahe at matapos ay itinago rin kaagad bago luminga. He didn't said a word even after paying me his sad eyes, and just resorted with a close-mouth smile.

The same face reminded me of what had happened that night in the pub, where in we're both left understanding each other's side despite of the unknown—those truths we hadn't really opened up, yet the two of us freely confided through the depths of one's shrugs and cries.

"Kung okay lang... Bakit ka nga pala umiyak non?" I asked to fill up the gaps in my mind as I try my hardest to understand him. I realized, I never had a chance to ask, because I left right away after that day with the intention of not making a return. But because of this—all the uncertain and unpredictable ways of life, we met again.

"Ah... pent up emotions." He shrugged lightly, "Ewan ko, you must've said something that triggered me. Masyadong maraming nangyari noon, eh."

"Like?" I asked and looked at him as I wait.

"I wouldn't answer that hangga't hindi mo sinasabi kung bakit ka talaga umalis... kaya you decide if you'll answer me or I'll keep on pestering you with your unanswered questions." He said half-jokingly.

Hindi ko alam kung ayaw niya talaga sabihin yung dahilan, o sadyang interesado talaga siya kung bakit ako biglang nawala. I get it, I really am guilty for my sudden disappearance and I'm still trying my best to say it in a justifiable way. Because I know I reacted impulsively; I left them with nothing but resentment for my inability to explain why I couldn't even say a proper goodbye.

Hindi ako nakasagot agad. Nagalangan muna akong umusod. But I did moved to create a little space between us because we're almost touching each other's side. "I... well, you already said it kanina. Takot ako, natakot ako. I'm a coward. So I decided to leave."

"Yun na yun? I mean," I saw some dissatisfaction in his eyes as he said those words in a questioning manner, as if his anticipation for something excusably enough suddenly gone awry, "umalis ka nang walang ano-ano, and you've even changed your number to ensure no connection from anyone who knows you. You left us waiting in fear. Hindi namin alam kung anong nangyari sa'yo. Worse, ako pa yung huling nakasama mo." Napailing siya habang tinitingnan ang magkasaklob na palad at saka deretsong bumaling nang may pagsusumamo sa kinaroroonan ko.