Lost in Danville

Chapter 2

Perry has to walk to OWCA headquarters. He had been planning on leaving via hang glider, but he's not sure it would hold someone of his size. Fortunately, he spends a lot of time in the streets, so he knows exactly where he's going. It's just a matter of getting there, which, as someone still adjusting to human legs, is not easy.

The first thing he sees when he gets to OWCA headquarters is Carl, walking very quickly to the front door with a coffee in his hands. Either he snuck away for a coffee and doesn't want Monogram to know he was gone, or Monogram asked for a coffee and Carl's on a deadline. It doesn't really matter, though. This is just what he needed.

"Carl!" Perry waves his arms around to get his attention. Had he still been a platypus, he would have run to catch up, but he doesn't want to risk falling down again because he doesn't know how human limbs work.

Carl turns to look, and when he sees Perry walking towards him, he just looks confused. Perry had expected as much. He's not exactly wearing a name tag.

"Do I know you?" Carl asks.

"It's Agent P," Perry says.

"What about Agent P?" Carl asks nervously.

Perry rolls his eyes. "No, I'm Agent P."

"I didn't know we were recruiting humans," Carl says, obviously confused.

God, he's so dense. Sure, maybe he could understand the confusion with any other agent, but Perry fights Doofenshmirtz. This isn't even the weirdest thing he's ever done.

"I'm Perry," he says. "The ex-platypus." He refuses to use the word "humanpus," no matter how much Doofenshmirtz liked it.

Carl gapes at him. "Agent P? What happened to you?"

"Doofenshmirtz happened," Perry deadpans. "Is Major Monogram around?"

"Yes, and I think he'd really like to see this," Carl says.

They head inside, and the entire time Perry is following Carl around, he feels everyone's eyes on him. Carl and the Monograms — Major, Missus, and Monty — are the only humans ever walking the OWCA halls. Sure, there was a day when Doofenshmirtz worked here, but he really doesn't count for much. It's definitely not comparable to Perry, an unfamiliar face to everyone around.

Monogram is sitting in the same room he does the mission reports from, muttering under his breath about his computer and how useless it is. How he manages to function without Carl constantly by his side, Perry does not know.

Monogram looks over at the sound of the door opening. "Carl, who's that and why did you bring him here?"

"It's Agent P, sir," Carl says.

"What about Agent P?"

Perry is half convinced that Carl and Monogram share one singular brain cell.

"I'm Agent P," Perry says. "Doofenshmirtz did... well..." He gestures vaguely to himself. "That."

"Great googly moogly!" Monogram says, gaping at him. "Although that would explain the hair."

"What?"

"Your hair," Carl says, "it's platypus colored."

Perry reaches up and plucks a single strand of his hair to look at. Sure enough, it's the same teal that used to cover his body. The universe really has a dumb sense of humor.

"Well, this is..." Monogram pauses, eyeing him for a moment. "... unprecedented."

About a million sarcastic remarks go through Perry's head, and if there's one thing being a nonverbal animal his whole life has taught him, it's how to keep those comments to himself.