A Shot In The Dark // Kylo x Reader

Chapter 6 || Acquainted

We sat in silence for what could be hours, I wasn't quite sure how to process time anymore. It was getting boring just sitting and listening to the drowned out sounds of the room, Doctor Sion and Mara didn't come as frequently anymore leaving me with no one to talk to but myself.

My head turned to Kylo Ren laying peacefully on the bed, I could try and talk to him.

I studied his face as he slept, trying to control my breathing as if he could suddenly hear it. I would never get used to the sight of his relaxed features, there wasn't that familiar crease settled between his brows or slight downturn of his lips. His dark curls fell messily across is forehead, and his chest breathed steadily. This powerful leader laid peacefully, a sight hardly anyone would get to encounter, and yet I was lucky enough to experience it.

He doesn't look scary like this. My lips crept up slightly.

"You think I'm scary?" He frowned, and I could swear I heard an inkling of disappointment in his tone.

Oh kriff he's awake.

"You need to stop doing that." I retorted, suddenly regretting my words. He mirrored my sitting position as his gaze turned towards me, face emotionless.

My cheeks reddened, I felt bad snapping at him. "I'm sorry, it just freaks me out sometimes." I mumbled, his expression didn't change.

I waited a moment for him to respond, expecting him to yell at me for being so rude. When he didn't I decided to answer his first question to break the awkward silence.

"I used to think you were scary," I paused for a beat, thinking about how I felt about him. "Not anymore."

He studied my face as if trying to figure out if I was telling the truth, I suddenly felt nervous.

"Should I be afraid of you?" I asked quietly, my brows creased together. He seemed taken aback by my words, unsure of how to respond.

"I'm not sure." He spoke quietly, still in thought.

I bit my lip, overcome with the need to explain myself further.

"I still admire you as a leader, you have great power and strength which I've seen you use expertly. But I don't fear you, I have seen the man under the mask, you are no longer some disguised demon but human, a person. Now it's like my fear has been replaced with respect, if any of that makes sense." I rambled, trying to explain myself without offending him.

He watched me carefully, seemingly absorbing my every word. I held my breath in anticipation for his response.

"That makes sense." His face softened back to its expressionless gaze.

I smiled slightly as relief flooded my body. I wanted to talk more, have the questions I've been holding back answered. My lips pursed together as I tried to figure out if this was the right moment.

"You want to ask me something." His words were not a question but a statement.

"I... yes." I fumbled, not expecting him to speak.

"Go on."

"How did you get injured?" I asked, eyes casting downward, fearful he would get mad at my prying.

"Lightsaber."

"Oh, must have been painful." I responded, thinking back to when he got here, the side of his body soaked in blood.

He gave a faint nod, I could feel his eyes still fixated on the side of my head.

"Who did that to y-"

"What happened to you?" He asked, cutting into my words.

I again was taken aback by his sudden questioning, turning my head sharply to meet his gaze. I had a feeling he interrupted me on purpose, but decided against following through with my hunch.

"Oh, uh, blaster shot to the chest during that last mission." My face fell at the memory. "It was my fault for thinking I could take the rebels basically on my own." 

His face twisted into thought again, at this moment I really wished I had the ability to read minds and find out what he was thinking.

"It happened in the clearing, with the last of the rebels, I was there?"

My eyes widened in shock. "Yes! You remember me?"

"I do. You fought different than the others, relied on instinct instead of protocol." My heart rate quickened at his words, a flurry of nerves situated themselves in my chest.

"I know, I- I'm working on that. It makes me weak, and stupid." I spoke, saddened that he recognized my failure.

"No. You have good instincts, it makes you stronger." His dark eyes were now burning into mine, I could tell he meant his words.

I stared for a moment in disbelief. "Commander I failed, I-" I swallowed, trying to control my emotions. "I am not as good as the others and that's why I almost died. I shouldn't have been saved."

His jaw clenched in annoyance as I continued to ignore his words. "I saved you because I saw great potential, a trooper with abilities unlike any other I have come across. It would have been a waste to let that perish."

My heart fluttered at his words, my face now softening.

"You saved me?" I choked.

He rolled his eyes, now very annoyed with our conversation. I didn't care, shock waves ran through my body at the thought of being deemed worthy of Kylo Ren, worthy enough to be saved from dying.

His eyes met mine again and his gaze softened as he watched my inner turmoil. My world felt as if it had just collapsed right in front of me, everything I have ever told myself was just deemed wrong. Being praised by the man I looked up to for what I thought were faults caused my head to spin.

I was engulfed with emotion. "Sorry it's just, you don't understand how much your words mean to me. All my life I have been trying to be better, always seeming to fail. You just declared that my biggest weakness is actually my strength. All I have ever wanted was for you to see me as worthy."

Kylo's face was completely soft now, eyes downcast, he seemed quite taken aback by my words. His lips parted slightly as if to say something, but no words escaped.

I waited a moment. "Commander Ren?"

He hummed in response, eyes meeting mine once more.

"I just want to say thank you, for everything. Especially for saving my life." Now my eyes burned into his, I wanted him to know how grateful I was considering this might be my last chance to tell him.

Kylo's lips twitched up. "Kylo."

"Sorry?" I was confused about what he was trying to tell me.

"You can call me Kylo." A beat. "Just not in public."

I smiled wide at his words, trying hard to contain my inner excitement so he didn't take his offer away. He sighed playfully at my response, clearly attuned to what was running though my head.

"Kylo," I paused, unfamiliar with those words leaving my lips. "On a scale of one to ten, how amazing do you think jello is?"

"Enough." He shot me a glare. I couldn't help the small laugh that escaped my lips.

He turned his head forward, and I noticed the small twitch of his lips. Kylo crossed his arms over his chest leaning back onto his pillow, a signal he was done talking to me now.

My head was spinning with delight, I had to bite my lip to keep from smiling. My mind wandered to the first day he arrived, his face always contorted into a frightful glare. This Kylo was different, no longer menacing and striking me down with fear. He was now a person, moody and usually hard to talk to, but a person. Never across a million galaxies would I have predicted having a conversation with him that didn't end with a lightsaber through my chest.

My emotions eventually died down enough for me to somewhat relax, body still humming faintly as I tried to drift off to sleep. I was tired, but unable to reach that state of complete tranquility. Too high off the idea that I may have just made a new, very powerful, friend.