I Hate You, Don't Leave Me ~ Nemi

Dianna De La Garza

DEMI'S P.O.V.:

The second week of my therapy, Dr. Sparks told me to go some minutes before the appointment to talk through some important points. As I entered, I knew today it would be the first day of my new therapy cause there were two chairs in a corner of the room in front of one another.

"Demi, welcome. Come in, take a sit here." She said pointing to a single chair in front of her desk. "I noticed you saw the chairs over there. Today's your first day of therapy."

"I realized it. I just wish you would've told me about it." She frowned.

"Didn't the receptionist tell you?" I shook my head and she sighed. "Oh damn, I'm sorry. We can leave it to next week then."

"Who am I supposed to see today?" I asked feeling anxious.

"Your mom. You have to start with her cause she's an important person for your whole life, so it's the first one. You didn't write your dad's number." I chuckled.

"He died some years ago. I don't think it will be possible to call him." Her jaw dropped and I saw regret in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I put all of the other phone numbers. Has anyone said yes to you?" She smiled slightly and nodded before grabbing a paper.

"We have 5 confirms. Your sisters, Taylor Swift, and Joe and Nick Jonas." I couldn't believe that three people were the first on say yes to my therapy. Like...maybe I expected Joe to do it cause we don't hate each other but...Taylor and Nicholas? I-

"Your mom should be arriving soon." I nodded feeling nervous. "You wanna do this today."

"Yes, I think I'm ready for it." She smiled to me and I chowed down on my lip. Was I really ready? I would find it out soon anyways.

The next minutes went by quickly, and suddenly, my mom was walking into the office with a smile on her face. I felt bad for erasing her smile, but I knew I eventually would.

"Good afternoon Dr. Sparks. It's nice to meet you." They smiled at each other.

"Good afternoon. It's nice to have you here today. Thanks for coming."

"Hello baby." She said hugging me.

"Hi mom, thanks for coming today."

"It's nothing, you know I'd do anything for you." I smiled and Dr. Sparks glanced at us before gesturing to the chairs in front of one another.

"Here's what you have to do. You'll sit in front of each other, look at each other's eyes for some minutes until your hearts pushes yourselves to speak and let everything out. Both good and bad things you never told each other that you feel you should tell each other. Now's the moment and the time. Y'all gotta let everything free. Okay?" We both nodded and sat on the chairs as she sat on another chair forming a triangle to watch us better. "You can start."

I breathed deeply and mom and I looked at each other's eyes until I couldn't take it anymore. There was a lot of things she didn't know I wanted to tell her.

"While growing up, you worked way too much. Dallas and I had to help each other all the time to get through everything. And I hated you weren't around me. I tried to catch your attention by singing and that didn't even seem enough to keep you from leaving all day to work. I know you did it for us but...I felt lonely, and abandoned by you." I saw tears rolling down my mom's cheeks and felt it on my face too.

"When you were a baby, I didn't want you around me cause you reminded me of your dad and I hated him for being a bad dad to you and Dallas. I'm sorry for it and I'm sorry for leaving you alone when you were a kid. I was just trying to give you a better life." I nodded and bit my lip.

"When I started going downhill the first time, I hated you didn't realize it. I hated you didn't show me you loved me as much as you do now. You just seemed to be bored by me." Her jaw dropped and she sobbed.

"No, baby, it wasn't like that. I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to do."

"And then, when everything started to happen again. I really felt hate when you saw me drinking and smoking with control and didn't tell me to stop. I kept doing it cause you all didn't care about me doing it. I felt lonely again and there was nobody there to hold me and tell me 'stop doing that, you're gonna die', I needed my mom and you weren't there for me." She started sobbing again and I did too.

"I'm sorry, I really am sorry baby. I tried to do my best as your mom, I still try everyday but I failed so much...I'm sorry Demi, you probably deserved a better mom but I love you more than anything in the world." We both stood up and hugged as we cried, letting all go.

"I love you mom, I'm sorry for thinking that way about you. It was probably just my troubled head." I said with a chuckle and she dried my tears before the therapist spoke.

"That was amazing. I've never seen two people do this that easily and for real. This is gonna be easier than I thought." I smiled at her and she smiled back at me. "How do you feel Dianna?"

"I should feel bad for everything Demi said, and I guess I low-key do, but I wanna learn of it. I wanna be a better mom to her and my other daughters. And I felt a real and strong connection with Demi that I don't think I've ever felt before." She dried her tears and my therapist glanced at me.

"Demi, what about you?" I sighed.

"Well, this is a bit overwhelming. I've never been this open to my mom and I feel free. I've had this thoughts for a while so now that they're out, I feel happier."

"Amazing. It worked for you two. From now on, you have to start communicating with each other for real. You built a strong base for a healthy relationship today. Keep growing from now on."

"Sure we will." My mom said and I nodded taking her hand.

"You guys can go ahead. It's been a good day. Go celebrate together."

As we left the place I couldn't help but had hopes. It was easy today. Maybe it could work with the rest of the people.