I Hate You, Don't Leave Me ~ Nemi

Madison and Dallas

DEMI'S P.O.V.:

The relationship with my mom became even more strong after the therapy session. So that linda gave me hope for the next appointment. I was told to be free two days a week this time and of course, the next people on the list were Maddie and Dallas.

I wasn't nervous at all to have to talk with them. My sisters always listen to me and I just wanted to let everything free between us to get closer. Mostly with Dallas, cause I knew there were unfinished business between us. It's just things no one wants to talk about because it can cause family wars. But today was the day to talk through it.

The first appointment of the week, it was Dallas turn. She arrived 10 minutes later than me with her hair wet from showering. I chuckled when she entered and she glared at me. "Sorry for being late. I fell asleep at nap time and never woke up. But I'm finally here." I nodded and pointed to the chair in front of me. She sat and my therapist gave us the instructions before we got started.

As we looked into each other's eyes, I could feel her nerves. She was holding things like I was too, but I wasn't the first one talking. It was her.

"When you became famous, I felt less than you. I even felt envious of you. I wanted what you had and I never got it." My jaw dropped a little and I frowned.

"But you always told everyone that you wanted to prepare young celebs instead of being one." She shrugged.

"I needed to change my focus or I would've ended up hating you for being successful in an industry where I wanted to be too." She said with teary eyes and I chowed down on my lip.

"Dallas, I'm so sorry. I never felt you thinking like that. I'm sorry, you deserved everything I got and more." I said with tears in my eyes and she grabbed my hand.

"Oh no, don't worry. If I deserved it, I would've gotten it. There's a reason why I didn't. I'm better at preparing someone than being someone. You know..." I nodded slowly and bit my lip.

"While growing up...we used to go to parties together. We both went through the same process. We drunk, we drugged, we liked that type of life every once in a while. But like, I never understood why that didn't affect you like it affected me. I have to be sober or I overdose, you know what I mean? It's horrible." She nodded and dried her tears.

"I wish I could give you my body sometimes Demi, but I guess you're stronger than me and that's why you have to go through that shit. I couldn't make through the bunch of things you're constantly getting through."

"And also...when we were teens I was mad at you sometimes, and you didn't get to know why, ever. I hated that you left me alone in every party we went together. I would get too drunk to even walk and you never knew about it. Like, I was your little sister, you were supposed to stay by side and take care of me. I saw all of the other older brothers of our friends circle and they were so protective of their brothers...but then, when it comes about us, we were even strangers at parties. I wished you would take care of me."

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry." She whispered before starting to sob and I felt tears rolling down my cheeks too. "I'm sorry Demi. I should've been there for you. You needed someone to take care of you and I wasn't there. I'm so sorry." She whispered before hugging me tightly. "I love you, little one."

"And I love you too, Dal."

Just like I said before, we did have a lot of things to talk about that were stuck in our throats. Thankfully, we did. It was a blessing to get those words out of my chest. The next appointment was Maddie's turn and of course, we arrived together to the office.

My therapist gave us instructions and then, we took our places in the chairs. We looked at each other for about three minutes before I could let the words I wanted to say out.

"I could never be the big sister you deserved. I was too busy working, overworking. I'm sorry I wasn't there to watch you grow like I wish I was. I lost some of your most important moments for working." She opened her mouth to talk but I stopped her. "And I was a terrible terrible role model for a little girl that was just starting her life. I probably made you think it was okay to have drugs under your bed, or alcohol in your wardrobe, or go entire days without eating. I'm sorry for it. I wish I was a better sister to you. You deserved so much better Maddie, I'm sorry I couldn't give that to you." I said and sobbed. When I glanced up at Maddie again, she had tears on her cheeks and a smile on her lips.

"Demi, I never thought those were things that were okay to do. You taught me it wasn't okay, you always tried to give me the best. Damn, you even went to rehab two times for me. You've always said if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be alive. You are the best fucking role model to everyone who know you. Maybe you're right, you didn't spend that much time with me while growing up. But you're the person who I've learned more of. You're constantly showing me that fighting is worthy. And I love you for it. Fuck the time we weren't together, we still have a full life to share and continue learning." I hugged her tightly and chuckled.

"I never understood your smartness. But I'm glad you're so mature. It's like, you always find the right words to say to me." She smiled and I kissed her cheek. "Madison I'm proud of everything you've done. And I love you endlessly."

"I love you too Demi." I smiled at her and glanced at my therapist.

"That was even emotional." She said and Maddie and I laughed. "Well, we finished for today."

"Awesome. Who's next?" She sighed and looked at her paper.

"Next week, you have only one appointment. Phil McIntyre and Mike Bayer agreed to come her but only if they come together." I chuckled and nodded.

"I'm already telling you. I'll be the only one talking that day. You'll see about that." She smiled and titled her head.

"Have a nice day guys, you did amazing. Demi, see you next week."

"Thanks, see you."

Next week could be too much for me. So, I was sure I needed hard meditation before and after that appointment with them.