I Hate You, Don't Leave Me ~ Nemi

Patrick Lovato

DEMI'S P.O.V.: 

The week went by very quickly and when I realized it, it was already Wednesday. That meant only one thing. Therapy. 

I wasn't sure of what I would have to do now that I had already finished with every person of the list I gave my therapist once. Of course, once I entered her office, it didn't take me too long to figure out what I would do that day. 

"Today, you'll go to your dad's cemetery and talk to him. Tell him everything you never told him. I'm sure you have a lot of things in your throat you woul've wanted to tell him. You can do it today." She said and I shrugged. 

"What's the point in doing that? He won't listen to me...he can't answer to me." She sighed. 

"Demi, of course he can listen to you."

"I don't know if I wanna do it. There's just...I don't think I can do that." 

"Of course you can, maybe you don't wanna do it today and that's also understandable but...I think you should do it. You're ready Demi, don't let fear take over you." I shook my head. "You should go there with someone you trust enough to hear you say all the things you want to say to your dad." I frowned.

"I don't know someone that knows everything I would say to my dad...well, no one I could call." She raised her eyebrows and sighed.

"You should go today. I'm sure you can do it Demi. Don't hesitate on going." I chowed down on my lip and nodded.

"Okay."

"You'll go? For real?" I nodded and she gave me thumbs up.

"I'm proud of you. Everything will go okay."

"I hope so." I said to her before leaving her office.

I drove to the cemetery and closed my eyes tightly while waiting in the the car. I wasn't sure if I wanted to expose myself like that, but I knew I had to open up to him. I wanted to finish with therapy for a while. And maybe, if I talked to my dad, then, Brenda would leave me alone.

I walked out of my car with my sunglasses on and started heading to the cemetery with my head down. I was leaving the small flowers' shop after buying blowers for my dad when I stumbled into someone for not looking up.

"Shit. I'm sorry, I wasn't staring." I said still not glancing up.

"Demi?" I frowned and immediately looked up to see him standing in front of me with money in his hand and sunglasses on too.

"Uh, Nick, what are you doing here?" I asked nervously.

"Well, today would've been my grandma's birthday so I came here to give her some flowers...you know." I nodded.

"It's awful that you have to bring her flowers to a cemetery." He nodded.

"What are you doing here?" I gulped.

"Just visiting my dad." He pressed his lips together and nodded, even tho I knew he was probably thinking I've never done that before. Ever since the funeral.

"Okay then, I'll see you around." I nodded and walked away from him quietly.

I arrived to my dad's place pretty quickly and sat beside it. I ran my hand over the stone and felt my eyes getting teary.

"Hello dad, it's me...Demi." I whispered. "I know it's surprising to know I'm here. I didn't want to come. I've never came here before and I'm sorry for it...but I brought you some cute flowers. These are white roses and are my favorite." I left the flowers on it's place and ran a hand through my hair with a sigh.

"You know, I'm going to a new therapist and she has this crazy method where I have to face all the people that hurt me the most and I wrote your name on the list. I hope you don't mind me too much." I chuckled. "I know you wouldn't mind me if you were with me."

I glanced up to the sky and felt tears in my eyes. It took me a while to let out everything I was holding in my chest.

"I'm sorry for everything I didn't do as a teen and child to get closer to you. You know it, sometimes I didn't answer your calls and stuff like that but you also know I had reasons to not do it. You always lied to us." I bit my lip and took my sunglasses off. "I wish we would've had different changes. I wanted a dad and you weren't there. You wanted a daughter and I stopped caring about you...We both were so messy. I'm messy cause you was too. I have a lot of your demons inside of me." I sobbed.

"And I'm sorry but sometimes I can't help but blame it on you. Sometimes I feel like it's your fault. Dad, I almost died some years ago and I couldn't help but think of you as one of the reasons why I had to go through that horrible overdose." I sighed drying my tears. "As a kid, I always expected you to be present in my life, to treat mom, Dallas and I with love and you never did. Of course you weren't your best version of yourself but...I wish you were. I wanted you to be my dad so badly." I chowed down on my lip and sobbed again.

I cried quietly feeling someone staring at my back, but continued talking.

"But I forgive you. I forgive you for everything you did wrong and I hope you can forgive me too. I wasn't the daughter you wanted but I hope you feel at least a bit proud of me...I've recovered and I'm doing better than ever. You would've loved to see me now and I know you would've recovered like I did. Cause you were just strong as I am. I love you dad, and I miss you...but you're better in heaven." I dried my tears after speaking and stood up to kiss my hand before placing it on his stone.

I put my sunglasses on again and turned around being aware of what I would find on the other side.

"I didn't mean to spy or anything. I just wanted to check on you and see if you were okay." I nodded and gulped walking his way.

"It's okay, you always knew everything I thought of my dad so...it's not a big deal." He nodded and we started walking to the exit of the cemetery.

"Well, it's time to part ways again. I'll see you aro-" he started but I stopped him.

"Uh, Nick..." He raised his eyebrows at me.

"What?"

"Wanna go to a low profile coffee shop far from here? I want a coffee and could use some company." I saw the confusion in his face and held a chuckle.

"You sure you want my company?"

"W-well, I don't know. I th-thought you'd be okay with us having a coffee but...i-if you don't want to, it's okay too." He smiled slightly and shook his head.

"No. Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Uh, yes, let's go get a coffee."

"Kay. I'll see you there." I said walking to my car glancing at the car.

"Send me the address." I nodded without looking at him and entered to my car slowly.

___________________________________
Are you guys liking this story? Let me know in the comments and also! Drop your predictions for next chapter there. I wanna read some, better my day please.

Stay safe, healthy and strong. Love y'all.