~Let Me Love You~

2. The Beaming Baramee

Beam's P.O.V. ~

"Hi.. My name is Beam Baramee. I'm 21 year old and.. And I'm gay." I mentally face-palmed myself for the way I was practicing for my interview for a job at a local café.

It's 4 pm on saturday and I'm currently sitting on a bench in a park and talking to myself. People who can see me from a far will be thinking that I am mad or a mental patient.

"Tskk.. The hell baramee.. who the hell introduces himself like that." I scolded myself.

Well but what can I do.? I lost 3 jobs in last 2 months because of some homophobe people. Everytime when I think that the struggle will be less and I can finally have a permanent, decent job to support my expenses and study..... I get fired.

So I decided to tell them directly this time that I am gay. So if they have a problem they won't hire me. It's better to be disappointed in the beginning than after 10 or 15 days.

It's not like I go telling everyone about my sexuality but sooner or later they find out.

Thankfully at least I have one job which I can depend on. It's in a bar so basically no one cares about anything there other than alcohol.

Sam the manager of the bar is a nice person. He gave me a nice offer so I have to work on only weekends there from 6 p.m. to well as long as they need. He mostly let me go at 12-1 a.m.

I can see some kids playing in the park at a distance with their parents. A little smile appeared on my face. Not the one which comes when you are happy but the one which comes when you have a smile on your face and sadness in your eyes. I looked up at the Sky with blurry eyes and whispered.

" I miss you Mom and Dad. I miss you a lot. Sorry if I was a bad kid. Sorry if I made you unhappy aur made you worried with my antics and behaviour when I was a kid. I am just sorry. Please come back.." with that my chest tightened like I can't breathe. I can feel water falling from my eyes and making a straight line on my cheeks before wetting my white shirt collar. I hurriedly wiped the water.

" Fuck you baramee. You promised mother you won't cry. You won't lose hope. You will live your life and work hard to become the best version of yourself. Just like your name you will be always beaming with a smile on your face." I looked at those kids again.

I am trying hard Mom and Dad... to fight.. to live. it's just that your little beamie sometimes becomes so tired. But I will try my best to work hard. I will become something someday. I promise... 

I looked up again at the Sky with a smile. I stood up and started walking towards the cafe where I have an interview in half an hour.

**

" So Beam... you have worked in a cafe before or this is just you first time.?" The cafe manager asked me.

I am sitting at a table in the cafe with the manager sitting across me. it's a nice and cosy Cafe.

" I did sir once but just for one and a half month." I answered. I know what will be his next question and I don't know if I am ready to answer that.

"So why did you left.?" The manager asked again.

"I didn't.. they fired me.." I told him honestly.

"Oh.. I see.. So what was the reason.?" He asked a little curiously.

" Well they didn't like something about me. I am... I am gay Sir and the owner of the cafe didn't like having me in his cafe so they fired me." OK It's Now or Never. If that will be an issue here later as well. Let him know in the beginning.