𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦 twd

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧.

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BUT SHE'S PRETTY DAMN CLOSE
↳ chapter fourteen

Madi,

I don't remember the day I met you. We were too young. But, I think that I can remember every day with you after that. For as long as I can remember, you were there. Every single birthday, every family vacation, every party that my mom would throw.

You were so happy on my eighth birthday at the KCC, even though you said that you were jealous that you wouldn't be eight for another two years. Maybe that was why you ate almost half of that giant cake before my Aunt Evie even had the chance to put candles on it. You got sick to your stomach; So, you had to leave early, and your dad took you home. Can you still remember that?

Do you still remember your own eighth birthday at the South Carolina beach, when I ate your cake as payback? You were so angry that you threw sand in my eyes and scratched my cornea.

What about sitting on the livingroom floor, watching that cat and mouse cartoon together as we ate pizza?

I remember when you had your first day of kindergarten, and you showed up in my classroom by mistake. You were scared, and when you first saw my face, you started to cry. I had to walk you back to your own classroom, so that you wouldn't get lost again.

What about the time that you first called me 'Cowboy'? My dad let me wear his hat on Halloween, and you thought that I was a cowboy, instead of a cop. You looked adorable that night, dressed in a fairy costume.

I know things have changed, but that was still you. That was Madi Walsh. Some part of you did those things, and that part of you isn't gone. You're still that little girl who called the cops when I stole your scrunchie hair tie.

You don't have to let go of her. I hope that you won't. I can't be around to remind you of that little girl anymore. But, you can keep her alive.

Life isn't about just surviving, Madi. You need to live, too. I think some part of you knows that. I can see it by the way that you care so much; even about Negan. And as much as I didn't want to admit it before, I think that he knows the little girl that you've guarded so fiercely within yourself.

I wanted to kill Negan. I didn't want to admit that killing him would be the same as killing you. But, I understand why you stayed by his side, even after Glenn and Abraham, and everyone else that he's killed; everyone else that you've killed for him.

But, just because you've hurt people, and just because I have, it doesn't mean that you can't be anything more than a killer.

You're more than just a survivor, Madi. And you don't have to be afraid to be more. I know how bad it hurts when you let the human part of you back in, and I know how much you've tried not to mourn your father, but if you ever want to be happy, then you need to let that pain in.

You're probably doing the same thing with my death, aren't you? You're pushing it into the depths of your mind that you don't dare to access. But, I want you to. I want you to cry, and I want you to allow yourself to move on from me when I'm gone.

There's so much more that I want to say, but I think that I've already left you enough to think about with this letter.

I love you, Madi.

I always have, and I always will.

Goodbye,
Carl

Rick looked up from the letter he'd just read, his icy blue eyes overflowing with stubborn tears. He sniffled before swiping at his tears with his wrist.

He was curious about Carl's last words, and he'd already read the letter his son had left that was addressed to none other than Negan.

Despite knowing that the words that had been hand-written out to Madi would be personal, he couldn't help but to open the unsealed envelope.

He remembered most of the memories Carl wrote about, and some of them actually made him smile before the reality of their situation came crashing down upon him.

With a furrowed frown, Rick looked down at Alexandria from his place on a high balcony. He observed the people that he'd vowed to protect, feeling like a failure because he wasn't even able to protect his own son.

But, at the sight of Judith, his expression lightened into a gentle, subtle smile and he watched as she inspected their busy surroundings; just like any curious toddler did.

He was unaware that Madi would one day reunite with the last person she had to call her family; the last and newest member of her father's bloodline.