Love Will Remember (DLS#1)

CHAPTER 22: START

Chapter 22: Start

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Every night I would cry my heart out. I lost feel like I myself when I lost Gavin. The man that I promised to stay with. The man who made me so special. The man that I love. The man who broke my heart. Few weeks have passed but that heartbreaking scene keeps on replaying on my mind.

I would cry to my sleep thinking why I wasn't enough for him to stay. Why did he choose to leave me? Where did I go wrong? What will happen to me now?

Losing Gavin was losing myself. I almost failed this sem. I did badly on my exams. I couldn't focus on my studies, eat nor drink. It's like I lost my soul. Deep inside I felt empty and dead.

"Miss Di Laurentis, what happened? You were one of my top students ... and what's this?" My prof asked me holding my answer sheets. "I don't know what's happening to you, hija. But if you continue to be like this, you might not able to proceed to the next year level. I've been observing you these past weeks days and you're not doing good hija." My prof shook her head in disappointment. I felt a lump in my throat. I slight nodded and bit my lower lip, stopping my tears.

"I-I'm sorry madam, I'll do good next time" I lowered my head. Nakakahiya, I've never been this bad in my studies.

"Are you sure you're okay hija? You don't look good to me," My prof asked worriedly. I just slowly nodded.

"Omg! You look like a zombie sis! What happened to you?" Gulat na tanong ni Blaire. We're on face time right now. I tried to smiled.

"Nah, Im good. It's just— im stressed." I don't want them to know what happened to me and Alec.

My sister's forehead creased and made face at me.

"Since when we're you stressed, looking like ... that? Are you even sleeping? You look thin. Are you on drugs Lex?" Napatakip s'ya sa bibig n'ya. OA ha, drugs agad?.

I chuckled at her. "Med is not easy, Lora." I reasoned out.

I hardly sleep at night and I tend to skip meals when Im not in the mood to eat. So I have dark cricles under my eyes and I lost weight. Yeah, I did.

Mom and dad was worried for me. I didn't tell them about what happened to me and Alec too. I don't want them to know Im being like this because the one that I love, replaced me with someone new. Actually nakakahiya humarap sa kanila.

They also noticed the changes in me.

Mom and dad decided to move me back at the house. They were observing me. They know Im not doing fine. Do I really look that bad? Yup, bad as hell.

I was thinking alone in my cold room. Looking outside the window. Here comes again these scenarios in my head, my own thoughts are killing me. Reasons why I couldn't sleep.

Then mom walked inside my room. She sat beside me close enough to hold me.

"Lex, anak anong nangyari? Why are you being like this?" Mom cupped my face. I plainly look at her. Im tired, Im tired of being like this. Pagod na akong magpanggap na okay lang ang lahat. Pagod na akong masaktan. Pagod na ako sa lahat.

I wanna tell my mom how frustrating and painful. I wanna tell the world how tired I am. I wanna shout and cry out loud. But I can't.

"Come on, tell mommy. So that I would know what to do." Mom softly said and caress my cheeks.

Unconsciously my tears started to rolled down my cheeks. The emotions I've been keeping these past few months just started to unfold. I started crying in front of my mom. Mom gapped as she see me crying.