Koshi Sugawara x Male Reader

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟝

!!Warning!!:
Includes mentions of suicide and (maybe) other triggering subjects. Read at your own risk.

(Y/N)'s POV

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Footsteps and rain drops tumbling to the ground were the only sounds to fill my ears. My eyes burning from crying. My fists bruised from being clenched too tightly. My legs sore from running. My face twisted into a mess of regret, arrogance, sadness, and anger. The tears continuously fell from my eyes, mixing with the rain drops that had placed themselves among my cheeks.

His face. His touch. His voice. His heart. Him. He made me angry. Yet warm. He made me regret everything. Yet long for more moments. He had me wanting to forget about him. Yet make him all mine...

What was it that I needed so badly? Why was I acting like this? Where should I go?

I ran. Not caring where my feet would lead me. Puddles splashed against my (S/C) legs as I carelessly stepped into them. My heart was racing. From more than just running.

I felt... scared... helpless. I felt like her.

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I halted. For a second, all of my memories of everything and everyone I held dear to me flooded to my mind causing my eyes to water some more.

'I'm sorry.'

My mind was clouded. My heart was broken. Why? Why did I think I was any different?

My body moved on its own. I jumped onto the ledge of the bridge looking onto the view of the beautiful sunset. It was as if Mother Nature was giving me one last beautiful sight to see. The tears kept pouring causing my vision to go blurry once more.

"Dammit.." I said aloud to no one. I hated that I couldn't see the view more clearer. She was so kind to give me this sight. Why did I always ruin things?

The thought of my mother blaming me for everything raced through my mind. I frowned. I hated myself so much. How could I be so arrogant to think I was going to be any different than her.

My faces lifted so I was looking upwards. I allowed the rain to comfort me on my last adventure. They felt cold. But yet like tiny warm hugs. I always loved the rain. Because I always believed that whenever it rained, it meant someone was crying, therefore someone was sad. Reminding me that I wasn't the only sad person. This thought made me smile. The tears continued to slip but somehow, I could smile.

Somehow I could find the bit of happiness. If it only that small bit of joy was enough.

I quickly glanced down to the water. The beautiful sunset reflected against the semi-harsh waves. It all looked like one big painting. And amazing peice of work by an amazing artist.

The sound of cars stopping and sirens getting closer were the last noises I allowed to go through my ears before I blocked all other sounds off. I didn't want to be convinced this wasn't my path. I couldn't be convinced. This was who I was going to be from the beginning. Whether or not I wanted to be. I didn't get to choose that. Fate did. And fate had other plans for me.

As I turned around as not see my end come near, I saw them. Those volleyball boys. All huddled behind caution tape. Among them though, I could see Suga. He seemed to be distressed.