Ang Awitin (SB19 Sejun)

[13]

"Kath, can we talk? Outside?"

Wala akong balak na 'di sumama sakanya kaya naman ay sinundan ko si Paulo, oh my bad. Si Sejun palabas ng mall.

It was quiet, we were just breathing and looking at the cars passing by.

I was shocked when he talked, "You're here." And he looked at me.

"Ay hindi, kaluluwa ko lang 'to."

"You haven't changed, Kathlene."

It gave me triggers when he mentioned my whole name. He didn't call me by my nickname? Weird.

"Ano ka ba Paulo- ah, este Sejun. Ako lang 'to."

"Y-you don't have to call me by my stage name."

"Akala ko imszmc gusto mo? Nag-iba na ah?"

"I use it when i'm making music. Sejun's just my stage name."

I nodded, 'di ko kasi talaga alam kung ano sasabihin ko. It's been like, what? 2 years? 3 years?

He hasn't changed. He still have his braces, he's still handsome. Wala masyadong nagbago.

"So, when did you came back?"

I froze. I didn't know that he'd be asking me when did i came back.

Actually, i didn't came back.

I stayed.

For him.

FLASHBACK
"Ma, pa. Can i talk to you both?"

"Ano ba yun, anak?" Tanong ni papa.

"Pa, 'wag ka sana magalit ha?"

"BUNTIS KA?!" My dad jokingly asked.

"Pa, ano ka ba. Wala akong jowa."

"One night stand is a thing anak. Ano ba yun?"

Napabuntong hininga ako bago magsalita, "Pa, i want to stay here, sa Pilipinas."

I have so many reasons to stay here, i just can't say it directly to my parents. Sobrang naprpressure ako. They might judge me.

"Why anak? Andaming opportunities sa America?" My mom asked.

Eto na nga ba yung kinatatakutan ko. 'Di ko alam sasabihin ko, sinusubukan kong mag-isip ng excuse.

"Don't pressure her, mahal. Baka may plano na talaga si Kathlene." My dad held my hand, "Learn how to live without depending on us. Dalaga ka na."

With those words, dun ko narealize na i started planning for myself without realizing that i'm not seeking for my parents' help. Dalaga na ba talaga ako?

"Kung saan ka anak, dun kami. Support ka namin palagi, ha?" Sabi ni mama habang hinihimas ang aking buhok.

What's my reason? Paulo. Paulo is the reason.

Alam kong matutupad nya yung pangarap niya. Gusto ko mabantayan si Paulo kahit nasa malayo ako, gusto ko siyang bantayan nang 'di niya alam.

Ayokong mangyari yung, isang araw malalaman ko nalang na natupad na niya ng 'di ko nababantayan.

Malay mo, in the future. Magkikita parin kami.

Kung nasa America ako, hindi ko mapapanood ang pag-angat niya. Yun lang naman yung hinihiling ko, makita na nakamit na niya yung pangarap niya.

Dalawang taon? Tatlong taon? Naghintay ako, pero wala akong nababalitaan kay Paulo.

Akala ko, hinayaan niya nalang yun. Hinayaan niya na 'di niya makamit yung pangarap niya.