overwhelming [m.h]

[ 5 ]

Break was upon us, and I quickly texted Sam that I wouldn't be joining them and Den for lunch, as I made my way to the music room. To my surprise it was completely empty, so I made my way inside and quickly got comfortable. I dropped my bag on some chair and took out one of the guitars, as I began to warm up a bit before playing the song. I sat there for a couple of minutes before I saw the door open again, and a smiley Matty walked inside with a bag of chips on one hand. He walked my way and dropped his bag right next to mine.

"Okay, let's do this." He grabbed another guitar and tuned it to the best of his ability, before sitting on the ground in front of me. I swallowed and garnered all my courage to begin playing. The first notes game out just fine, however, as soon as I noticed Matty's eyes, I began to slip up.

"Shit." I stopped myself mid song and I buried my face in my palms. "I'm sorry," I said, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. I felt like a failure, especially cause I had heard myself in my bedroom and the song was basically perfect, but as soon as a pair of eyes are set on my I got nervous and messed up.

"It's okay." Matty reached out and held one of my hands, as I used the other one to cover my face in embarrassment. The small circles he drew on my palm helped me calm down, and I took my hand away from my face.

"I just don't know why I get so nervous. I can play perfectly in my bedroom and then I can't do it as soon as I'm elsewhere." I confess to him. His eyes seemed caring and warm, as he listened. I felt bad for how the day before I wasn't listening to his music rambles, yet today he was listening to me talk.

"How about you imagine yourself in your bedroom?" I looked up at him, feeling my heart drop to my ass when I made eye contact. I nodded and took my hand away from his, as I closed my eyes and imagined myself, alone, in my bedroom. I began to play, and it was almost like he had just done magic, because the entire song came out perfectly. I sighed as the song finished and opened up my eyes again. Matty was there, looking at me with a smile, and as soon as he realized my eyes were open, his eyes widened and he looked away.

"Shit, I forgot I had to meet up with George, but you did great! Let's meet after school maybe for more practice!" He said and quickly got up, and took his bag, a small notebook slipping out. He walked out, and I just stayed there, confused.

"What the fuck?" I whispered to myself as I put the guitars back in it's place. I picked up the little black notebook that slipped out of Matty's bag and I put it inside my own. I walked out of the classroom and headed to the cafeteria. There I saw my friends sitting, Sam with Josh's arm around them, and Den talking about something which she was very passionate about. I smiled and made my way towards the table. "My my! Lover lady decided to join us for our meal!" Sam said sarcastically and I laughed as I sat next to Den and in front of the couple.

"I just had a bit of practice in the music room, that's it." I snapped back as I took out the yoghurt bar inside my bag and ate it.

"Kiss practice with mister Matty?" I choked on my bar and looked at them with a disturbed look. Josh looked at Sam.

"Matty as in Matty Healy?" Sam nodded while looking at his boyfriend. He looked concerned out of nowhere.

"Why? Is he bad news?" Sam asked, sitting up straight. Josh denied the question with his head, but something told me that he was hiding something. There was a sudden silence that took over the table, those around us making enough white noise for me to fall into an overthinking spiral. Josh's voice snapped me out though. "I've just heard some shit about him, but I'm sure it's all rumors."