overwhelming [m.h]

[ 19 ]

Once I was standing before my house, Matty stood next to me outside his car, the two of us almost not wanting to leave the other. I united my pinky finger with his and we stood there for a moment, before I took a step closer and hugged him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" I said, amongst the sea of silence and comfort that surrounded us. He nodded and kissed my head.

"Good night." He walked back into his car and I walked through the small path towards my entrance. I waved at him once again, as he drove off. Once he was out of my sight, I opened the door quietly and walked inside. There, my mother sat in the living room, in her pajamas, reading with only one small light lit.

"These aren't hours to be arriving, young lady." She said, without taking away her sight from the book she was reading. I stood a couple of feet away from her, looking down. I didn't feel guilty, for I knew that the small escape with Matty to Manchester was just what I needed to cope with everything happening.

"I went out with a few of my friends and lost track of time." I said, looking at the floor.

"With who? Cause you weren't with Sam, I called them to ask, since you wouldn't pick up my calls" She finally retired her sight from the book and walked towards me, clearly angry. I avoided her sight, and just focused on looking down. "Was it that Matty kid?" The lack of words leaving my mouth answered her question. "Lord, it's like he's broken you." I gave her a confused look, finally looking at her for the first time in the entire lapse of the conversation. "Men over when I'm not home? Sleeping together at that? Going out and coming home late, without even telling me? This isn't like you Mae." I looked away, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Maybe I'm just starting to live my life like a normal teenager, instead of drowning in my own pity." I snapped back, earning a staggering look from her. I could feel my tummy beginning to ache and a small amount of fear infiltrate my veins. I had never spoken back to my mother, no matter how angry she made me.

"I don't understand. You didn't need this before, why all of a sudden?" She replied, walking towards the couch, almost allowing herself to look defeated instead of prideful.

"Cause my fucking dad is gonna die, and I need something besides sleeping at 8 and walking to school every morning to make me feel alive. Shit." My tone came out extremely angered, my mum looked at me with a surprised look. She stood up and quickly walked my way, with an angry face.

"Don't you dare disrespect me young lady." I swallowed the little saliva I had left in my mouth, yet I didn't break the eye contact. She took a step back and sighed. "This has been hard for the two of us, and you know that."

"And just because of that I don't deserve to have a normal youth? Don't I get to go and get blasted with my friends and make out with cute boys? Do you think dad would be happy with letting me just sit around and rot?" She looked at the floor, coming to the realization that, to an extent, I was right. She pointed to the stairs, indicating that I leave. So I did that. I closed the door of my bedroom and hid under my covers, crying myself to sleep.

My alarm didn't wake me up, in fact, by the time I was up, it was the middle of the day. My eyes were swollen, and my hair was a mess. I saw my door slowly swing open, my mother with a tray of pancakes and orange juice on her hands, and a small smile adorning her previously heartbroken face. She lay she tray near my lap, earning a small "thank you" coming from me, and she proceeded to sit by the border of my bed.

"I'm sorry. About yesterday." I said looking down, yet she shook her head, disagreeing with me.

"You know, I think your dad wouldn't want you to just mope around the house. I think he would like to see you living your youth nicely." She smiled, putting her hand over mine. I smiled at her. "Nonetheless, you need to be responsible. Just text me from time to time that you're not dead." I laughed at her request, and nodded. I had to create a new habit for myself. "I have one more thing to ask you." She took a deep breath, and looked at me in the eyes. "I want you to invite Matty over for dinner. If you guys are going to be a thing, I want to make sure he's appropriate." I laughed once again and nodded. I understood where her concerns came from.

"What about school? I missed the day?" I asked her, with a slight worried tone on my voice.

"I called in, told them you were sick. I also told Matty and the tall guy. He seemed to worry, but I told him everything was fine. You should call him once classes are done." She said with a smile, standing up, while I took a sip of my orange juice. She put her hand in the back of my head delicately and gave me one last warm smile before stepping out of the bedroom. I reached for my phone and noticed Matty's missed calls, and a couple of texts he had left earlier this morning.

To Matty 12:47

I just woke up sorry, mum told me she told you I was sick, feeling better now :).

I sent the text and after finishing my breakfast, I got up and took a long shower while listening to some relaxing acoustic music. I felt somehow re-energized, and spent the rest of the time working on school stuff I had fallen behind on due to the circumstances. And once I was done, I realized the time was 3PM, which meant the hour classes were done for our school.