overwhelming [m.h]

[ 20 ]

A couple of minutes after the clock struck 3, I received a text back from Matty, telling me that he would drop by to check how I was doing, and I won't lie when I say that I quickly arranged my bedroom, and counted the minutes until Matty got here. I waited, opening up Matty's small black notebook and scribbling some small drawings of flowers and his smile, when my phone's buzz caught my attention.

Matty 3:24 PM
I'm outside xx

I smiled at the text, and quickly made my way downstairs, almost falling down the stairs in the process. Once I was standing before the door, I tried to calm myself down, and open the door, putting on my "coolest" face on, yet failing miserably when I saw my whole group of friends on the other side of the door. I immediately felt my body fill with joy, and excitement, and I let them come into the living room, Matty coming last, and leaving a peck on my lips as he made his way inside.

Everyone sat around, Ross on the floor, as Sam and George took up the couch, with Den next to them, and Adam sat on a chair that was around. We turned on the telly and some reruns were on as background noise, while we talked about their day and whatever the boys had planned for the band in the near future.

"There's a gig in Manchester, it's a couple of bands." Adam said, and I turned to Matty with an excited smile. I knew what gigs meant for him. He truly felt free on stage, without a worry in the world, like his life was complete. I rested my head against his chest, and turned back to Adam, who explained the how they got the spot. "Sam's boyfriend knows a guy who arranges these things, so he hooked us up."

"Well, we'll be there to support you guys!" I said, smiling at all of them. There was a light on their faces, different than their usual smiles. They seemed hopeful and excited for the future, like they could see into the future front lining in big festivals. Looking individually at them, they all look so shy and quiet, yet when they're together they have an unstoppable driving force that I've never seen before.

"Right, what are you playing then?" Asked Den with an excited smile.

"We have a couple of new songs that we'll release that day, which means no visits to rehearsal in the next couple of weeks. Besides the usual of course." Explained George, I could feel my excitement rise. I was looking forward to their gig, not as much as they probably were though. I did feel a bit bummed out that I wouldn't be able to attend rehearsals, but it seemed reasonable.

Time went by rather quick, and soon enough, my mum was walking into a living room full of loud teens laughing about some nonsense. She smiled at me and walked in.

"Right, what's all this then?" She tried putting on her most stern face, and everyone turned to her with a terrified face. George's smile dropped to the floor in a matter of seconds, and I saw Adam's already pale face get even paler, and Sam just sat, trying to hold in the laugher. "Want some food?" Everyone released a previously held tension and nodded, mum making her way out of the living room. I stood up, and walked into the kitchen, where my mum was standing, putting some food into the shelves.

"Thank you for being cool about my friends." I said as I hugged her. She hugged me back and let out a sigh.

"I see how they're helping, I can't take that away from you." A tear left her eye, and she stood there after breaking the hug. Her frame was smaller than what I had previously noted, and she looked more tired. She seemed like she had aged 10 years in only the span of a couple on months.

"I'm sorry about everything. I know it hasn't been easy for you." I looked at the floor, and stood next to her. The silence that eloped us wasn't uncomfortable, unlike the ones before. Everything seemed peaceful to a certain extent, and the unspoken language between the two of us had come to a conclusion of all the previous discussions we had.

"So we'll see your father this weekend then." I nodded and bit my lip. She made her way out slowly, and I saw her walk upstairs, probably to her bedroom. I stayed there though, standing still in the very spot. Suddenly a lot of uncertainties took over me. Dad wanted me to go to college, get a degree and possibly move out of Wilmslow. He wanted big things for me, and I had allowed my mind to get in the way of thinking about these things. I probably would end up going to college here and finding some boring job to pay my bills. But I knew I wanted something bigger, something more important than just paying my bills. I wanted to explore the world, I wanted to write and make art, and I wanted to be able to follow my unknown passions.

My thoughts were interrupted with Matty's arrival into the kitchen, he was smiling at me, as always. I looked at him as he made his way in front of me, laying his hand on my cheek gently. I smiled when I felt his touch, and almost melted.

"What were you thinking about?" He asked.

"The future." I sighed. "About what I want to do, and what my father would've wanted me to do." I looked back a the floor, not in shame, but rather in a newly met nostalgia of what could've been had my dad been around, would I have bigger expectations of the world that surrounds me?

"Well, what do you like to do?" Matty rested against the sink, and looked me in the eyes.

"I like to write, a lot, and listen to music. I want to travel the world, but I also want to be independent." Matty stood there for a moment, thinking.

"How about a musical journalist?" He asked, I sighed.

"I've thought of that, but what if there aren't any jobs available?" I looked down at the floor once again. He walked towards me and warmly embraced my small insecurities.

"I think you would be great, and if you're shit, you're instantly gonna know and you can change majors. As easy as that." I nodded and sighed, I signed him to walk, and we made our way back to our friends. There they were, laughing at something in the telly, and chilling.

Matty and I sat on the floor, I rested my legs over his and pecked his cheek as he embraced me. Things slowed down. My mum ended up ordering pizza for everyone, and then she told me she would go over to one of her friend's house. After she left, it didn't take long for the rest of the gang to start going home, eventually leaving Matty and I alone once again.

Matty stood outside, with a cigarette between his lips, as I waved goodbye to George who entered his car and drove away.