overwhelming [m.h]

[ 16 ]

We stood before Matty's home, and Sam took no more time to ring the doorbell with a big smile plastered on their face. Denise opened the door with a smile, and gave me a warm embrace. "It's nice to see you Mae!" She said, as her sight travelled to the person next to me.

"This is Sam, a close friend of mine." I said with a smile, Sam, already pulling her in for a hug. Denise told us that the boys were already warming up downstairs and we should join them, and so we did. Den and Josh were already there, talking with Adam. I felt my chest feel heavy as I saw Matty chatting with a smile on his face. That smile seemed unfamiliar after a while of not seeing it for a while. George walked up to me and Sam with a big smile and proceeded to hug me tightly, raising me from the ground.

"I thought you wouldn't come." He whispered to me, making me smile because of his childish attitude.

"I had to come, I need to talk to him." I said, I could feel my smile disappear, as I felt the anxiousness slip in. He put his arms around me once again, turning me around and walking behind me, with his head over mine. I laughed at his sudden position, as he walked me to the couch where my other friends were already chilling by. I sat there and he headed towards the drum kit.

"Alright, let's get this shit over with." Matty let out, in his grumpy tone. They began playing some of their songs, and they also practiced some covers. Matty seemed much more relaxed while playing, however it was obvious that he wasn't completely here, and 30 minutes after the practice had begun, my friends and I hyping them up as much as we could after every song, Matty called for a break. He quickly walked upstairs, and I closely followed, George giving me a thumbs up for motivation.

It was dark upstairs, however, a familiar light outside of the house told me where Matty was. He stood there, with a cigarette between his lips, the cold winter air mixing with the smoke leaving his lungs. I walked up to him, biting my inner cheek and gathering all of my and my ancestors' courage.

"Hey." I said, as I stood next to him. He just nodded my way. I wanted to puke, or punch the air, or both at the same time. His curls fell perfectly against his head, catching me in some sort of trance, and once I'd realize this, I looked away. "I wanted to talk to you, about what I said the other day." I looked down as it seemed habitual at this point. He looked at me, offering me a cigarette, and for the first time, I took it. He lit it as if it was nothing and I took a drag out of it. The nicotine reached my veins quickly and suddenly my muscles loosened up, and so did I.

"I was a dick, and it was all because I was scared of some rumor I heard, and I didn't know what to do, and to escape just seemed like an easy choice." I said without any holdbacks this time. Perhaps the cold had suddenly made the effects of nicotine stronger, or perhaps I had suddenly achieved the courage of a thousand lions, but I couldn't stop myself from talking. "And anyways, who gives a fuck about rumors? They're just that, and even if you were a massive junkie you're still fit as fuck, and you're so smart and I honestly enjoy spending time with you so much." I could hear his small giggles next to me, as I continued to speak wonders of him, and suddenly, I felt his arm wrap around me.

"That thing, that I'm a junkie. It's half true. Sometimes I smoke weed with the band, we do it before gigs so we can be chill on stage." He confessed, while stepping on the butt of his cigarette. I could somehow feel a weight in my shoulder be replaced with another.

"Won't you get addicted to that and die?" I asked, suddenly turning to him with worry overflowing in my words.

"Well, not with the frequency we do it." Somehow I found comfort within his words, and I was able to rest my head against his chest once again, as I had done a couple of times before. "How do you want to do this, then?" His question surprised me, as he stole off the cigarette he had lit up for me, yet I had only been able to take one drag off of.

"Dunno... We have to take it slow, surely." Matty nodded at my request as he took a drag from the cigarette, and blew it in an opposite direction to where I stood. "And we need to go on proper dates, where we talk about ourselves and shit like that." He smiled at me, at my mildly childish request.

"I was gonna get to that, when you got all dramatic." I buried my head in his chest once again, feeling embarrassed for my past actions. Despite my actions being based on something important, like unknown drug use, I realized how childish I had been by not speaking directly to Matty from the beginning. "Is there anything else you want, m'lady?" He asked with a smile on his face. I shook my head, and instead tiptoed, so my lips would meet his. The smell of cologne and cigarette around me, and his lips fitting into mine, as if they were made for each other.

"We should go back inside." He said with a satisfied smile, and he picked up the two cigarette butts that were in the floor, only to throw them to a trashcan that was standing on a light pole in the street. We walked back together, him leaving occasional pecks on my cheeks and my heart being overfilled with joy.

Downstairs, the guys were already opening up some cold Chinese food and setting it up on the table. George smiled at me as he saw Matty smiling once again, and we joined the rest of them on the couch, Matty finding a comfortable spot next to me, and me finding a comfortable spot against his chest.