The River (Laurisa Cimorelli)

Nineteen: A Summary

NINETEEN: A SUMMARY

LAUREN

THE BROWN EYED GIRL COULDN'T MAKE her mind to stop thinking about what happened today in total. Her eyes stare into the wall, there's all emptiness. While her mind wander to every places she's been to today, and to every events that happened. Lauren felt so overwhelmed by all the things that has been going on for the most of time of her life, but mostly today. She can't believe what she heard and what she witnessed.

Lauren thought she's already could take whatever it is into herself. She's already felt so overwhelmed since she was a kid, but today is a different kind of overwhelming feeling. There are a lot of things that she can't understand. So many questions inside her head. Lauren remember so clearly how Lisa did mean things to her. A thing that no toddlers deserves to go through.

Then it changed to when Lisa yelled at her at dinner not so long ago. Lauren still remember what she said that night. What happened that day, she remembered it all too well.

"OUT OF THE PEOPLE ON EARTH, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO CAUSES THIS ALL!"

"....you killed her."

"You killed my bestfriend, my sister, my half."

"YOU KILLED HER!"

That was the moment. The moment where it completely broke Lauren inside and out. Lauren has this crazy list that probably will happen to her in the future, but being told that she is a murderer is not one of them, she's absolutely sure of it. Days after feel like the most guilty person in the world, while kept thinking what did she do, what is exactly happening, is she really a killer, Lauren finally feels like she doesn't deserve to be alive anymore.

She made someone's life gone, so she's supposed to be gone either...right? But Lauren refused to go away before she knows the truth. The real truth about the past of her killing someone. that was when Karla's sweet old face came into her mind.

Lauren remembers too well how Karla told her and Amy that someone did died at the river.

"Could you tell us which one of us who drowned through this picture?" Amy gave her phone to Karla with the picture of cimorelli kids. Karla puts on her glasses and studies the picture and then she smiled.

"This one! The one in red. She seems so sad and angry, it was all clear in this picture."

Never in her mind appear that Lisa was really the one who was dead. Lauren agreed that it was Lisa's twin, Alison, that was dead. People kept mentioning Alison name, and it's all make sense after listen to Karla's story. Lauren did killed someone, and that someone was Lisa's twin. That was what she believed. She was ready to be gone right at the moment, but she knew that she has to apologize to Lisa first. One way or another, Lauren needs to do that.