Forever frozen

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          She came back late. She turned on the music. Today she felt like listening to the band Boy Harsher. I think Ronnie mentioned this band.

"Do you know the difference between a killer and a killer?" she asked, sitting down in a leather chair.

"I think I know," I said. "The murder is strictly planned...?"

"You know shit," she said. - Murder is when you kill because you have a fatter reason and in a particularly cruel way, and the murder can be commissioned, it is also planned, but there is no particular cruelty. The murder doesn't have to be strictly planned. You can kill someone like that, for example, you will strangle, but then you will cut the body, rape it, throw it into the river, lake, throw it off the escarpment, onto the railroad tracks..." Raven began to exchange. "Since we know the difference, let's move on to my first crime" she paused to pour wine. "It was about two years ago. I felt a lot of anger. I just wanted to kill someone. No reason. I had a butterfly knife with me then. Sounds funny, but it was so. I bought one with the longest blade. I was still riding my old car. I passed a guy on the road. It was a bloody accident. I wasn't prepared for it at all, the only thing I was ready for was that the police would probably find me tomorrow. Nothing more. He did not expect me to put a knife in his larynx, push him about eight times into the liver, and then rip his guts out." Raven smiled. "I looked like I was coming back from a slaughterhouse or Dead Evil movie set," she laughed. "It got loud, but then everyone forgot." she waved her hand. "It gave me strength, you know? More faith in yourself. I felt I could do anything. I killed him unexpectedly, without preparation, and these masses didn't even find me. I thought that if so, I could kill freely with preparation and still be unpunished. All in all a guy like Paul Britton will find me, but dead."

"Have you not thought about his family for a moment?" 

"Come on..." she shrugged. "Less than every minute someone dies. We live only to die in the end. What's the difference?" 

"What if someone killed your loved ones?"

"You ask a sociopath about it without a single word of empathy?"

"What about your brother?" I continued and got it.

"This is a slightly different thing. I would find this stupid asshole to kill him for killing my whole family. Believe me, the dark web can do magic tricks." she looked at me seriously.

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