wildflower | cth

2.1 - bad conscience

^^ the picture at the top is the houses, because there are a lot of names and I'm constantly looking back at it too not to make a mistake, I will be adding this to every chapter
(calum's house is incomplete but they're all dudes so not that hard to keep apart)

—

I was sitting down at a table in the back, a book in my hands and a notebook on the table with my pen on top of it. I was working two steps ahead again, preparing classes of next week and analysing more books than I had to. I was taught to always make an assignment as soon as I got it, not to wait until the last moment because that would get me worse grades. It was not like I had anything better to do anyway.

I always sat down at the same table, it was a strategical move. Students that walked by couldn't see me but I could see everyone that walked in. I had a view of the full library from where I sat. So when he walked in, I noticed him immediately. I looked up from my book and followed him with my eyes as he walked over to the desk. His backpack over just one shoulder, his leather jacket in his one hand and a coffee in the other. He asked something and he let out a soft laugh after he got a reply. I saw him thank her before he started walking in my direction and the second our eyes connected, I looked back at my book.

He walked past me and turned into the row with books right beside me. I allowed myself to look, he always had the same kind of outfit on. Dark skinny jeans, a shirt and his damn leather jacket. He looked good in that jacket and he knew. He turned towards the shelf and took out a book so I looked back at the book in my hand. He didn't say anything when he walked past but while I expected him to leave again, he stopped two tables further. He had dropped his bag on the table and placed his coffee beside the book he took. He neatly placed the jacket on the back of the chair before sitting down, facing me.

I watched as he picked up his coffee again and took a sip before looking back at me. A grin on his face as he caught me staring again but I just shot him a smile before going back to my book. While I had looked away, I could still feel his eyes on me. I could feel him staring and looking me up and down just like he had done the last time we saw each other. But this time I wasn't looking, I was trying not to give him what he wanted. I picked up my bottle of water from the table and as I looked in front of me again and he was still staring, I stared back at him for a second before simply smiling again. A simple friendly smile, not the uneasy feeling he is trying to give me. It didn't work on me, I'm just wondering how long it will take to make him realise that.

He let out a chuckle before finally opening the book in front of him. He leaned back, stretching his arms above his head and his legs in front of him. I tried not to stare too much but he eventually picked up the book and started reading it. I went back to reading too, taking notes and kind of losing myself in the story.

I have always loved reading, it gave me an escape from home as a kid, a few hours a day where I didn't get lost in hallways or feel invisible in my own home. I didn't have a bad childhood, I had everything I wanted or asked for. I was happy but I was alone. So I read a lot, created my own friends and imagined the adventures I would go on with them. I created a whole other world for myself to live in, I found my sweet escape from reality in my own mind.

My parents never really bothered with my education, I had good grades so they let me do my thing. But after I had already applied to come study English literature here, they suddenly cared and tried to convince me to study business instead. Or at least something that would make it possible for me to take over my dad's company later. It took me 5 months after the start of my first semester until I finally told them I wasn't actually studying business or living in the apartment they got me.

They were pissed off to say the least.

But I love writing too much, I love being able to loose myself in a story and let my creativity run free to create my own world. It took them a while to accept that.

I manage to loose myself so much in a book that I don't notice changes in my surroundings. So I didn't notice that Calum was no longer seated a few tables away, I didn't notice when he got up. But his jacket was still there, along with his bag and cup of coffee that was probably empty by now. I looked around and when I looked at my left, I saw him walking towards me with two books in his hands and I nearly jumped in fear. I didn't hear him so I didn't expect him there even though I knew he had to be somewhere. "Fuck." I muttered while my heart started slowing down again after the small scare.

"You got a bad conscience Lia." He said as he walked past my table, shortly looking at the notes in front of me before looking back ahead of him.

"Damn you said something to me and even know my name, watch out that you don't get fired as President." I said back, I leaned back in my chair and watched him. A grin appeared on my face when I saw how surprised he was by my reply.

"There's nobody here, who's going to tell on us?" He asked back once he sat down too. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest, mirroring my position. "Aren't you afraid to get kicked out? As you said, I'm the president, they all love me."

"Do I look like a sorority girl who's whole life depends on being in the house?" I asked back and he let out a loud laugh before we got told to be silent by the only other person in the room. Nobody would ever know we talked, nobody would ever know we broke the rules because he nearly scared the shit out of me.

"You look like a girl who likes to break the rules. The stories about you only confirm that." He said back, softer but I looked at him with a smile and let out a chuckle before going back to my book. He kept staring at me a little longer before he opened the top book that he just got.

I looked up every now and then, I watched how his eyebrows furrowed when he didn't understand something but he'd smile as soon as he did and write it down. He was losing himself in the book too. We were both losing track of our surroundings again.

"Guys, I admire that you've been studying here for the past 5 hours but I want to close in 5 minutes." Jasmine said from beside us, I looked up at her, only now noticing it was starting to get dark outside. Calum looked up too, removing his headphones that I had not seen him put on.

"Fuck I was supposed to be back by 7." Calum said rushed as he closed the books and started putting everything in his bag. He put on his jacket and after picking up his empty cup, he was out of the room within a minute.

"So you talked to him?"

"He scared the shit out of me because I hadn't heard him pass me to get new books so he commented on it and I commented back. You can't exactly call that talking." I explained with a chuckle before I finally got on my feet to put everything in my bag. I had warned the other girls I was planning on staying in the library till 8 so unlike him, I didn't have to rush back. "He's pretty full of himself and becoming president only made that worse."

"He just knows he's good looking and smart. He's using that to his advantage and he has a right to. I don't see you trying to hide away that you are either." She said with a grin and I let out a chuckle as I put on my jacket. "Go home now and enjoy your night instead of always sitting behind a book. You deserve some fun."

"We've been invited to a party on friday, that's enough of fun for a week." I replied while we walked to the exit

"Lia, use your time in college wisely. Don't waste it studying every day."

"Reading is what I love to do, writing even more. But I'll make sure to let my wild side have some fun too." I replied and she let out a chuckle.

"Oh did you finish that book I gave you?" She asked before I was about to walk through the door.

"I did and I am pissed about the ending. Did she really have to kill her character off? She was finally about to have it all, a carreer and a family and then she dies. I am just angry, at the author and at you for telling me how great the ending was." I replied and she looked at me with a smile.

"It's not what you hoped for but was it right?"

"Yeah. It made it realistic so it might have been the best choice even though I hate it."

"There you go." She replied, "The best choice isn't always what you hoped for and wanted, remember that."

————————————————

dont spoil anxiety guys

Also: .1 is Lia's POV, .2 is Calum's POV

Let me know what you think ♥️