Absent Student | KomaHina

Chapter 18

He leaded me to the back of the school and I had no idea why. He let go of my arm and I sighed in relief. "Look up." I did as he told me to. "I pushed her off from the top of this building and she fell right here on this very ground." he pointed at the roof and lowered his finger to the very ground. "That's all there is to it. They have all the right to hate me, I should be despised. I deserve that." he smiled widely and shrugged.

"You're lying..!" I said with tears in my eyes. I knew that he wasn't telling me everything. I felt like he didn't want anyone to know the truth. He wanted everyone to hate him or more like.. since he felt responsible for her death he wanted to carry the guilt on his shoulders and pretend to be the insane person everyone pictured him as. But why.. why would he go that far.. was it really what he wanted? And what the heck happened to that Mahiru? Why did she fall?

"Why would I, Hinata-kun?" he hid his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "Give up already. It's pointless to stand up for a murderer.. be a little more sensible and don't try to help people of my kind anymore, please." he went ahead leaving me behind, I wanted to stubbornly follow him but before I did that, he'd said "don't follow me anymore, let's split our paths here." Hearing his words made my legs to give in, I was shaking so much. I.. didn't want to believe he was done with me. I felt heartbroken. Nothing I'd ever heard before in my whole life hurt me more than that, but I wouldn't be myself if I gave up there. One way or another I was going to get to the very bottom of what happened and why.

Something was telling me that even though Komaeda seemed to be pleading to get punished for something he didn't do, this willingness wasn't his. It couldn't be. There had to be someone manipulating his feelings and making him say all those insane things.. I just felt so. I had no proof of that but I was going to try my best to find it and make that person pay for making him go through all of that.

***

It'd been a whole good month since I'd last seen Komaeda. I still couldn't believe that Komaeda didn't want to see me anymore.. I didn't want to believe that it was the case even though I was aware it was all my fault, I fucked up. I could only pray that one day he'd forgive me. Also, the fact he technically didn't break up with me, was enough of reason for me to keep defending him and not giving up.

In theory, I could force myself onto him and go to his place despite him clearly being fed up of my person, however, that was the last thing I'd want. Just imagining his displeased expression and eyes looking at me with boredom and disappointment would hurt me even more than his words had.. he didn't seem to like me the way I did anymore, I should've just got over that and move on.

I should've, but I was too much of an idiot to give up. I had nothing left in my life which I cared about, so I could as well devote myself to bringing some light into his life. I wasn't hoping to make him love me again, just wanted to do something for him.. for the person who you could say I loved with my whole body and soul.

The only seemingly significant clue I had left was the number of the person who'd texted me. I decided to test my luck and contact them. I unblocked the cursed number and after a brief moment of hesitation started typing a message. I was 99% sure they were attending the same school as me so I decided to ask them to just meet me there, I was too lazy to try to come up with other safe, public place to meet with them.

Me: Let's meet at school to settle things down.

I couldn't care less if meeting them would be safe or not. I just wanted to do something which could move the case forward. Anything. I'd thought the mysterious individual would ignore my text so I was pleased when I received a reply just after a few hours of waiting.