Absent Student | KomaHina

Chapter 16

(edit) a/n: Hello, I had to edit this chapter and add a part that I'd forgotten to include in-between. Thank you TheOfficialDumbas and 00imverytired00 for pointing it out! 🌸 Sorry for the inconvenience-- anyways, enjoy reading! ~☆

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I looked into the places I’d been to so far, kitchen and bathroom that is and also to a newly found library on the ground floor. I hastily glanced around it, I found tons of books and dust but no trace of Komaeda. Then I went to the office which was placed in front of the living room where we usually spent time together. In there I actually found something interesting which looked like a journal. It only peaked my interested as it was laying opened on the desk visibly inviting me to browse through it. It was completely covered with dust and pretty much abandoned. It seemed like Komaeda didn’t clean especially around here.

I flipped it to the first page, entries written in it seemed pretty random like phone numbers, passwords, scribbles, drawings.. many of them were written by one person describing their journeys though. It seemed like that journal was used in plenty of ways by many. I felt like I shouldn’t look through it but I couldn’t help myself, the journey looked as if it was waiting here for ages to be found and read.

I was about to give up—even if not used anymore the journal still once belonged to someone, maybe even to Komaeda, I didn’t want to invade his privacy even more than I already had—however, then I saw something which stood out a lot from all the other pages. It seemed like someone snapped for some reason judging by how messily the handwriting appeared.

“She was all I had.. why did Nagito kill her?” I barely managed to read it but when I did I just kept staring blankly at it trying to understand what the fuck did it mean. “What? Who wrote that?” I asked myself while frowning. As soon as I moved the light to the other page, I noticed that the journal had a few pages torn out so surely that was why I couldn’t make out anything from it. I felt really idiotic while looking for the torn pages on the dusty ground, honestly, but here I was cleaning up the office with my knees. When I found three crumpled sheets of paper I shook all the freaking dust off my pants and sighed wondering what was I even doing.

Only one of them had something written on it. “No matter the motives he’s going to pay for it. I’ll make him feel what despair feels like and” There was more written but I couldn’t read it.  I only managed to whisper a worried “oh” as I was thinking about what I had read. I was wordless. What happened in here..?  I swallowed down my saliva. My throat felt dry, head started feeling heavy and on top of that I started sneezing without an end. Being in this room is like swimming in dust, time to get outta here. When I’d read the whole thing, I couldn’t shake off a feeling that it was Komaeda who wrote that and I didn’t like it that I had a thought like that in the first place. I was sure that if one of my classmates read that they sure would think like that but I wasn’t like them. I wanted to believe in him.

The urge to see him only got stronger despite my worries. I went past another hallway leading to the front door this time and went outside the mansion upon reaching it. “Ko.. maeda.” I said quietly with slight shyness but then louder. “K-Komaeda..! Are you there?” I shouted and waited for a response that sadly had never arrived. The garden had a more peaceful vibe though which eased me a little. “Maybe he’s in the back of the mansion..” I thought since if he was somewhere around the front part of the garden he should’ve heard me. If he wasn’t in the back though then he probably was still in the mansion and that’d be the worst possibility for me since I wasn’t up to going back to it and looking through all the rest of the creepy, silent rooms. But I also wouldn’t want to stay in the guest room on my own.. so I was ready to do it.