ᏒᎬᎠ ᏒᎾᎾᎷ

19

Mattia

Red.

All I saw was red.

I stormed out of the building, anger consuming my body. We had taken Kairi's car to get here so I had to walk.

I didn't know where I was going, just as long as it was away from Pinto and Kairi.

...

Kairi.

I paused in place, remembering what I had done.

I hurt him.

Like physically hurt him.

I never wanted it to get this far, but seeing Kairi kissing another person made my blood boil. I just wanted to kill someone.

I wanted to kill Francesco.

I hope I didn't though. I'm not cut out for prison.

My mind wandered back to Kairi. How he looked at me with tears in his eyes. His face had fear written all over it. He was afraid of me. Afraid that I would hurt him.

And I did.

I did hurt him.

If I could take it all back, I would. But I couldn't. What's done is done. There's no going back. He must hate me now.

All the things I said that I didn't mean.

He must hate me for it.

This is why I couldn't stay with one person for too long. I get attached and start getting clingy and possessive.

Naturally I was born an aggressive person. Must be the Italian in me.

But tonight, all of my anger issues showed out.

I sat on a park bench with my head in my hands. I was ashamed.

Ashamed of doing that to the person I loved.

Love.

I love Kairi so much that I ended up hurting him.

And it hurt me to know that he was hurt.

I hated myself now.

I'm a worthless piece of shit who doesn't even deserve Kairi's love and affection.

Maybe tonight was a good thing.

Maybe this was God's way of telling us that we aren't ment to be.

____

Yuh ❤

There's gonna be more drama, just wait.