I am Mark Tuan's Personal Assistant

Chapter 13

We ended up going to a random Gimbap store nearby. They wanted to go somewhere more fancy but I reminded them that they had another Vlive session in 3 hours, so we had to wrap it under an hour and return back to the building. The store wasn't crowded, so there weren't any potential fans nearby. It was quite hard to ensure that no fans would disrupt their meal and our schedule.

"So let me know your order, I will record it and hand it to the lady," I stood up and instructed them. They started to random spurt out their orders that I got a little confused and lost track of what to order.

"Okay, let's do it this way. Those who want the original gimbap please raise your hands." Solar cut in and instructed. My face beamed and I looked at her with eternal gratitude.
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"Don't worry, this is a very common occurrence in my group as well. You'll get used to it." She replied. I suddenly had a built up admiration for her. She was pretty and amazing as well. I want to be like her.

Wait. I think this is just the idol syndrome. I almost fell for it and became a hardcore fan. Wake up Luna. Don't fall in deep and use your savings on the fan goods again. You are a very broke intern and fresh graduate.

After we have finished ordering, I went to the restroom to relieve myself. I had been holding on to my pee for a while as I didn't know where the restroom was in the recording building. And I had been distracted by what Hee Jun said earlier that I didn't go to the toilet before leaving the building and simply focused on not being near him. I didn't know how to reject him and was really tempted by the idea.

I shook my head. Don't do it again Luna.

Even though I felt pleasure at the moment, I always felt guilty and dirty for doing something like this. Those times were my darkest moments of my life.

I always believed that sex was supposed to be done between people who are in love.I was really naive then back then when I got my first relationship. I always had a inferior complex and craved for love and attention because of the loss of my parents.

I met my first boyfriend at a cafe. It was just another regular day where I was studying at the cafe and he came over and asked for my number. He told me that it was a dare from his friends. I was amazed by his honesty and gave him my number. He was really cute and I guess I fell for him at first sight. I was elated when he texted me and soon after he asked me out. I was so happy and I thought that he was the one. I thought I have finally found that person who could anchor me and give me stability. I gave him my everything. I gave him my virginity, all my money because he told me that he wanted to start a business for our future.

And I thought it was going to be a happily ever after I graduate. But boy was I wrong. One day, when I was walking back from my class, I was met with a pregnant lady and she slapped me out of nowhere.

It was then I knew that he was married. I didn't ask him to stay back for me. I simply ghosted him. I didn't care that almost all my savings were with him and I partied away. I felt really empty and I used alcohol and sex to fill this voidness.

Then one day, I suddenly felt a huge pain in my stomach. I didn't think it was anything serious and I still went to the party that I was invited to that night. I fainted at the party that night and was rushed to the hospital. After I woke up, the doctor informed me that I had been pregnant for 2 months and had a miscarriage for 2 weeks already. I didn't even realise that. My partying days killed my child.

I was really in denial then. I tried to comfort myself by saying that it was all for the best, I wasn't ready to become a mother then. But at the back of my mind, I deemed myself as a murderer.

My partying days got even more terrible that So Eun slapped me out of my senses. The day she scolded me was the day I actually let out all of the pent up emotions that I had. Although I still partied, it definitely lessened and I managed to continue focus on my studies. It was then I met Hee Jun. He managed to anchor me and I almost fell for him. I stopped the feelings from developing further but we still slept together out of the drunken mistake.