Love, Natalie

Chapter 19

"It's still so crazy how you got one of the leading roles in the play. How did rehearsals go all this time?" I'm glad Lucas asked. I rarely talked to him all these past couple of weeks. It feels nice to get to talk to him again.

"They went great! But I'm still kind of nervous about being on stage. Especially for that one song by myself. I know it's just like two or three minutes out of a whole 2-hour musical, but I'm super nervous," I confess to Lucas and Sam while we walk to our lockers.

"It's only three hours away! Do you think you have all the lines memorized?" Sam blurts out randomly. I suddenly feel butterflies swarming in my stomach again. I know it's okay to be nervous, but I hope I don't just stand there in the middle of the stage while everyone waits for me to say something. Again.

"Yeah, I'm not that worried about that. But what if I freeze up in front of everyone?"

"Don't think like that. I know you'll do great. Just act like you're just rehearsing. Plus, the lights will probably be too bright to even see any of us," she adds in order to give me reassurance. I know she's right, but I tend to overthink too much.

"Yeah, tonight, I'll just focus on what I'm doing. Soon enough, it'll be over and we will all be laughing about how much I was worrying about nothing."

"Exactly. Keep that mindset, Nat!" she advises as we put our books and binders in our lockers. The day really went by so fast. Well, time has been swooshing past us for months now, to be honest.

"Just breathe and think happy thoughts. No one will laugh at you, I promise. Except, maybe, Palmer." I quickly glare back at Lucas who is leaning against the lockers on the other side of the hallway. Gee, thanks. "I mean, she'd be laughing on the outside, but deep down she's just jealous and envious of how talented you are."

"Aw, see? Even Lucas knows you'll do great tonight. Now, just remember what we said, and everything will go swimmingly well!" Sam encourages before giving me a hug.

"Thanks, guys. I'll try to do my best tonight," I say more to myself than to them. They're both right. I just need to think positively and positive things will happen.

Right?

<><><>

Wrong!

"I can't do it!" I yell at myself in front of the mirror in the dressing room. The musical starts in an hour, and all my nervousness is seriously kicking in. I mean, I felt better after talking to Sam and Lucas earlier. I dropped her off at home, came back here to rehearse a few of my lines, ate with the rest of the cast and crew, and even did a bit of homework. But once they started handing out the clothes and accessories we'd wear tonight, I panicked. I locked myself here after everyone changed into their outfits.

"Natalie? Is everything okay?" I hear Ms. Tanner calling from the other side of the door.

"Y-yeah I'm f-fine. Just doing my hair," I lie even though I literally just stuttered. My hair is a complete mess. This bun I did turned out to be too messy. Not at all what I wanted.

"Can you please open the door?" I look at myself in the mirror and tell myself to take deep breaths. Then I start walking towards the door. Once my hands are close to the doorknob, they start shaking again.

Breathe, Natalie, breathe..

I managed to unlock the door and quickly stepped back so Ms. Tanner could come in.

"Are you alright? Are you feeling nervous?" I nod slowly, answering Ms. Tanner's question. "It's normal to feel nervous before a show. I can't tell you how many times I felt nervous when I was your age. Before every show, I was trembling like I had a severe cold. However, no matter how bad my stomach felt or how much I shivered, I always went onstage and always gave my best performance."