It was too late - A Shivika ff

Chapter 20

Hey guys!

It's highly disappointing for me to see that you could read the chapter and conveniently become silent readers but not press a button, that costs you no money, to move the story ahead. 
I hadn't asked for anything big, just a 100 votes, and it seems that is a very difficult thing to achieve in spite of having over 400 views. Well done! I'm proud of the reader in you that couldn't encourage a person to write. 

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Looking at Anika's disappointed eyes, OmRu ran after Shivaay, outside the ward, whereas Dadi took a seat on the tool and looked at Anika with tears in her eyes. 

Jhanvi stood on the other side and asked her with a sad smile," How do you feel Anika?"
Anika raised her eyes, looked at Jhanvi's face, emanating warmth and replied with a small smile," Mai theekh hoo Aunty."

Jhanvi tilted her head the other side, thinking how easily Anika lied again, saying that she was fine when 'I'm broken' was all what her face screamed. 

Tej," Don't worry Anika beta, we are with you."
Anika looked at him with surprise on her face - she had never expected this to be coming from the stone-hearted Tej uncle. 

Shakti," Haa beta, we are with you. Tum bahut jaldi theekh ho jaaogi."
Anika looked at him and gave him a small nod to acknowledge his words. 

Tej, Jhanvi and Shakti left the ward to see what their children were up to, when Dadi decided she could not let Anika bottle up any more. 

She forwarded her hand to Anika's face, but there was hesitation evident in her move. She didn't want to hurt her granddaughter-in-law, who had already taken a load of pain while fighting the miserable condition she was in. Anika, who was already devastated with the reality of herself, was breaking more and more, sensing that Dadi, who had never hung back to comfort her even when she was an ordinary wedding planner at the Oberois, was today finding an obstruction in giving her the same warmth that she had earlier. 

But Dadi was Dadi. She looked into Anika's eyes and understood what was going on in her head. She slowly moved forward and touched her cheek, careful of doing it with extreme care. 
Dadi," Puttar, dard ho raha hai na, apne andar rakhegi toh badhta hi chala jaayega. "

That was the last straw for Anika. 
She slowly held both of Dadi's hands and started crying. 

Anika," Yeh sab kya ho gaya Dadi...mere saath hi kyu hamesha aisa hota hai? Kya bigaada hai maine kisi ka? Kya mai itni buri hoo ki jab bhi koi khushi haath mei aati hai toh jhat se chin jaati hai? Kya meri kismat mei, iss janam mei thodi si bhi khushi, thodi si shanti nahi likhi hai? Poori zindagi kuch na kuch hota chala gaya, jab aap log mile, pyaar mila toh juda ho gaya, ab toh mai khud hi sabse juda ho jaaungi...kyu Dadi? Kyu aisa hua mere saath?"

She started crying harder and harder, while Dadi could only try to caress the disfigured woman in front of her. 
Dadi," Nahi puttar, tu kahan ham sab se juda hogi?"

Anika," Rahungi bhi kaise Dadi? Mujhe toh iss hospital se hi kabhi chutti nahi milegi, agar galati se mil bhi gayi, toh kaise rahungi aapke saath? Kis haq se?"

Dadi, " Sab theekh ho jaayega puttar, Billu sab theekh kar dega."

Anika," Kuch theekh karne ke liye ab bacha hi kahan hai Dadi. "

Deciding not to drag the futile conversation any further, Dadi made Anika lie down on her bed. 
Dadi," Puttar tu aram kar, mai sab ko dekh ke aati hoo."


Outside in the corridor--

Shivaay ran out, came to a turn and held a pillar for support.  He could not get Anika's face out of his head. Hell, he wasn't even able to recognize her. This Anika, whose presence he could feel from afar, who raised his heartbeats when she was close, whom he could never fail to recognize in any of her dress-ups, that Anika was sitting there, with nothing to make him connect with the Anika he had last seen. And this was something he could not digest. 

Om slowly came to him and put his hand on Shivaay's shoulder. 
Om," Shivaay?"

Shivaay quickly wiped his tears with his sleeves and turned around. A few sniffs could be heard, yes and the redness in his eyes could not be ignored. 

Shivaay," Om..."
Before he could say anything further, Om engulfed him into a tight hug and Shivaay let his tears down again. 
Sobbing into Om's shoulder, Shivaay was unable to even get a word out of his mouth. He just kept on crying for what seemed like a few hours, when Om made him sit down on a nearby chair. 

As Shivaay wiped his tears and sniffled the last of his sobs, Rudra came out from behind Om and asked him,
" Bhaiya, why did you leave bhabhi like this and run outside? You know how broken and disappointed she must have felt?"

Shivaay raised his head to look at Rudra.

Shivaay," How can I go and see her when I am so highly disappointed in myself? Mai khud se hi nazarein nahi mila paa raha, Anika ko kaise dekhunga? Yeh jo Anika ki haalat hai na, sab meri wajah se hai, toh mai kaise uske saamne baith ke usse pooch loo ki kaisi hai woh? Meri ek galati, galati nahi gunaah! Mere gunaah ki saza Anika bhugat rahi hai toh mai kaise jaake usse dilaasa de doo, kaise vishwas dila doo ki sab theekh ho jaayega, jabki sab kuch mere hi wajah se hua hai? Kaise karu mai aisa, batao mujhe?"

He closed his eyes in pain and put his head in his palms with elbows resting on his knees. 

OmRu were left standing clueless, eyes darting from one tile on the floor to another, trying to grasp in that it was as painful for Shivaay to see Anika in this condition, whereas he was partially responsible for that. 

In a few minutes, Shivaay got up from the chair, wiped his cheeks and red eyes, sniffled once and started moving out. 

Rudra," Bhaiya, where are you going?"

Shivaay," Rudra, I want to stay alone for sometime. Let me go and don't come behind me."

Rudra," But bhaiya..."
Before Rudra could say any other word, Shivaay darted out of the hospital and when Rudra moved forward, Om held his hand and stopped him. 

Rudra looked at him but without moving his eyes from Shivaay's retreating figure, Om replied, "Jaane de usse Rudy, he needs time."

They turned to go back to Anika's ward when they found the elders behind them. 
Shakti," Shivaay kahan chala gaya?"

Om," Chhote papa, he needs sometime alone. It's not easy for him especially to grasp all of it in, and I think if he sits alone for a while, he will feel better."

Shakti," Okay then, let him go. Anyway, I'm taking Maa back to the hotel, she needs to rest."

Tej," Jhanvi and me are also going for a while. Anika is conscious now and we think a change of scenery might help."

Rudra," Alright, you all go, we both are there for Bhabhi."

Tej," If you need anything then call me."

Rudra and Om nodded and started towards Anika's ward. Shakti guided Dadi outside the hospital and into the car. Tej and Jhanvi went walking outside. 


When OmRu came inside, they saw Anika was lying on the bed with her eyes closed. 
Rudra whispered to Om," Bhabhi is sleeping, I guess we should come back later."

Om nodded slowly, not moving his eyes from the figure on the bed. 

But Anika was not sleeping. 
She had just closed her eyes to think and opened them with a sigh when she heard Rudra whisper. 

" OmRu?"

They turned and saw her trying to get up. After helping her sit properly, they sat on either sides of her bed and looked at her, trying to just digest her look. 

Rudra," Sorry Bhabhi, we did not mean to disturb you. We just came to see if you are okay, and..."

Anika," It is okay Rudra, I was not sleeping either."

Rudra," How are you now?"

Anika," Not unconscious, so better I guess." 

" You were thinking, isn't it?", Om asked with a slightly amused smile. " About Shivaay."

Anika looked at him, a bit baffled. It made her think whether it was so obvious on her face that she was thinking about the man who just walked out of her ward after giving her one glance or that Om just knew her too well. 

With a snort Om replied," I do know you well, but after the stunt that idiot pulled, anyone would know that you were thinking about him."

She shifted her gaze to her lap, looking at her charred fingers entwining each other, but with hardly any sensation or feeling in them. 

After a moment or two, she replied," Rudra wouldn't know that."

While Om burst into a small laugh, Rudra first widened his eyes and then made that cute little frown he always did when he wanted to show that he was angry.