D E S P E R A D O

thirteen

Jungkook gasps awake after hearing that familiar gunshot. He has the same nightmare at least once every week but each time the events became more and more prominent. Jungkook didn't have the strength to keep the forgotten memories of the past from haunting him. His room resembled the room in the Jeon mansion to a point where he thought he was back there for a second. 

It made him feel nauseous. Every time he recalls the events before he was kidnapped he feels like throwing up. Betrayal. Almost every person he trusts betrays him. He's been through that too many times and that's why he still doesn't trust Yoongi.

He gets up from his bed, trying not to look at his surroundings. A cold shower and change of clothes later he was ready to explore the mansion. Jimin wasn't anywhere to be found, not that he was looking for him. He saw few members of the clan here and there, but no Jimin.

Well until he neared the courtyard, and then he regrets going out of his room at all. What he sees is Jimin shirtless and sweaty, wearing just silk pajama bottoms. Grunts and huffs reached Jungkook's ears as the man trained while doing stunts. Jungkook feels the air slowly escape his lungs as he stares at the man kick people in mid-air. 

"Sir, we're tired..." one of the men say.

"What do you mean, I'm barely done! You guys need to get fit too!"

"It's been hours Jimin-ah... They need to rest." he hears a familiar voice say. He looks at the direction of the voice and sees a tall man who resembled the man who brought him here.

"Yeah? Who's going to spar with me then?" 

Before Jungkook knew it his feet were moving on their own. "I will."

All heads turn towards him. Jimin surveys him and looks away. Jungkook can see that he's hesitant to accept so he decides to provoke him. "... Unless you're too chicken." 

The response was immediate. "Fine, don't blame me if you're all bruised afterwards."

Jungkook removes his leather jacket and untucks his shirt while approaching the man. It took much more effort to keep his eyes from trailing all over the man's naked torso but he's not going to comment on that. 

Sparing with Jimin started off smooth. Jimin let him make the first move then after that, it was simply blocking and defense. But the more they went on, the more aggressive Jimin got. The first blow that Jimin landed was right on his stomach and it was completely unexpected. It suddenly switched to Jimin attacking and Jungkook blocking. 

Jimin's eyes turned stone cold. it was a given since Jungkook was actually his enemy but Jungkook was still shocked. He didn't expect sparring to turn into a full-fledged attack. After a few blocks, Jimin stops. Jungkook pants and licks his lips to taste salt. The scorching sun made his sweat worse as his bangs and shirt clung to his skin.

Just as Jungkook thought they were done, Jimin walks to the side and picks up two swords from the ground. Jungkook's eyes widen at the sight of them. It was just the two of them. the other members of the clan had left to rest.

"Unless you're too chicken..." he smirks.

"Bring it on," Jungkook replies.

Jimin hands him a sword and they raise both in battle. The sounds of steel hitting steel fill the hot air. Jungkook vaguely remembered training with a sword years ago and good thing he had a little bit of muscle memory to back that up because Jimin fought with vigor and experience, he could see that very well.

"You're good at this." Jungkook pants trying to dodge the blade.

"Trained 8 years... You're bad at this." Jimin mocks.

"I am." with those words Jimin stutters in his movements, which was exactly what Jungkook wanted. It was clear that Jungkook wouldn't beat him in skill, so he thought out of the box. If Jimin thinks he's an egoistic piece of shit from the Jeon clan who could never admit being bad at something (and he was right) then he would use that to his advantage.

Jungkook moves away from the blade at rapid speed and swings his sword. Sure he struck Jimin on the stomach (more like scraped) but Jimin immediately got hold of what was happening and used his legs to kick Jungkook's sword away.

Before Jungkook knew what was happening, Jimin holds both of his hands, backs him against the wall and grips his hands above his head. "You wanna try that again sweetheart?" 

Jungkook meets his eyes and the urge to move forward and kiss him was more prominent than ever before. It felt like Jimin felt the same thing. Jungkook swallows and Jimin copies it. The only thing Jungkook wanted at the moment was for Jimin to just move closer. He shouldn't be feeling like this towards someone he hates... should he?

Jimin's eye's dart towards his lips and then lets him go, moving away. "We're done." he puts his hands on his hips, trying his level best to act like nothing happened.

"Um..." 

"What?" Jimin asks looking at him.

Jungkook was staring right at his stomach, where the big cut was. It wasn't that bad, but he was still bleeding. "Shit." Jimin hisses. 

He runs to his shirt, picks it up and wipes the wound. Jungkook was too stunned to move at that point. But somehow he forces movement in his limbs and walks inside, without a goodbye. He needed to process whatever that was.

-

There were really no excuses. He wasn't at a place with romantic lights and dull music, he wasn't drunk, he wasn't at a beautiful viewpoint. He had run out of excuses to justify this behavior. His thoughts were getting consumed by this man. What was so special about him anyway?

"Do you not like the food?" a voice brings him back to reality. "I'm Namjoon by the way." the man informs taking a seat next to him.

They were at the dining room. Jungkook remembers but keeps picking at his food.

"No, I just have a lot on my mind." Usually, Jungkook would tell the person to mind their own business but something about the man, Namjoon, made him feel protected.

"Do you want to talk about it? I'm actually a psychologist." Namjoon lets him know.

"What are you doing with an illegal clan then." Jungkook furrows his brows.

"See I would tell you I really would, but only to my friends... Do you wanna be friends?"

"I don't need-" Suddenly a lot of unneeded flashbacks come into Jungkook's memory. "Just leave me alone."

"Okay but I'm just telling you, it would be nice to have a friend in this no man's land." 

Jungkook scoffs. "I'm sure it would."

"Anyway, I was just joking about that friend's thing. I actually do professional business here. If you want a therapist, I would be glad to offer my services."

Jungkook considers it. Sure he doesn't need friends but maybe he could get something out of his stay in the mansion. He'll just be here until Yoongi busts him out and they don't seem to show any interest in torturing him. Maybe this man could just replace Yoongi for a while, he is a professional after all.

"Well..."

"Yes?" Namjoon lifts his head.

"Suppose I wanted to do something that I don't want to do..." 

"Will it damage anything dear to you?" he questions.

"No..."

"It's important to process your feelings. I don't think you can want to do something and don't want to do it at the same time. You should do what your heart wants, after thinking it through of course."

Jungkook pauses after soaking in the information provided. "You're not a good psychologist."

"Well I do work for an illegal, underground clan..."

He had a point there.