D E S P E R A D O

fourteen

Jungkook didn't understand. He didn't understand why Jimin hated his clan so much and he didn't understand why his hatred for Jimin was fading away. Things were changing and Jimin's presence was just aggravating that change. The weird thing is, he didn't seem to mind it at all.

Jungkook stood on the rooftop gazing at the stars. He didn't want to go back to his room, it reminded him too much of something he wanted to forget. Jungkook has always dealt with trauma and betrayal with ignorance. He always avoided his inner problems and that seemed to work fine but now the more he was away from any essence of the Jeon clan, the more confused he got.

He had this inbuilt hatred inside him that made no sense. It's something he avoided thinking about ever since he came to Seoul. His past is too heartbreaking to think over.

 "What are you doing up here?"

Jungkook looks behind him to see Jimin staring at him. He looked soft in the pale moonlight, something Jungkook never thought he would think.

"I... wanted to clear my head," he replies, running a hand through his hair.

Jimin chuckles lightly. "I thought you would tell that it wasn't any of my business."

Jungkook thought that too, but truth is, he was getting tired of blocking people all the time. It seems that how much ever hard he tries to be closed off and not reveal much about himself, he still gets stabbed in the back. It gets tiring. He wanted to ignore that voice in his brain telling him to leave, even if t's just for a few minutes. 

He sighs, it was too late to think of a lie. "My room... reminds me too much of... the other place."

"Oh..." Jimin seemed understanding and calm. He walks closer and stands beside Jungkook to admire the stars. "There are a lot of stars out today."

"Pretty." 

Jimin looked at Jungkook and wanted to say the same thing. The word pretty doesn't do justice to what I'm seeing. He thinks.

"You gonna sleep out here from now on?" Jimin teases.

"Unless you have any other rooms or a random mattress lying somewhere..."

The past shaped both of them into thinking that they should hate each other when in reality they didn't. And at that moment, they weren't thinking.

"The members have occupied the other rooms and we don't really let people randomly sleep on the couches and just lie around. You could stay in my room-" It was impulsive. He didn't really think before offering, but now he has to do damage control because Jungkook is looking at him wide-eyed. "You are my prisoner and I have a really large bed..." 

Truth is, Jimin feels guilty. He won't admit it though. He feels like he ruined Jungkook's home and he is the cause of why Jungkook is lost. If it was anybody else, he wouldn't have regretted it. But just seeing Jungkook's dazed face makes him feel upset.

"Okay..." Jimin hates him, Jungkook has to remind himself.

-

Jungkook's gaped at Jimin's room. It was huge, like a king's suit, it probably was. He was surprised when Jimin even offered to share, it was something he didn't expect at all. Jimin's company made him feel more secure than he'd like to admit.

It was too late at night and he wasn't thinking about casualties then. Jungkook sat awkwardly on the edge of the bed unsure of what to do. Until he heard hissing noises from the other side of the bed. At first when he sees Jimin's shirtless back as he sits on the edge he blushes madly. But when the hissing sounds continue he walks to the other side to see what Jimin was doing.

"Let me help." Jungkook says grabbing the cotton pad in Jimin's hand. Jimin was aiding to the wound Jungkook gave him. It seemed to be healing but it definitely hurt.

"No-"

"I'm the one who did this to you. Just let me..." Jungkook's firm eyes meet Jimin's soft ones.

Jimin gave up sooner than expected and turned his body to rest his back on the headboard. Jungkook ignores his fluttering belly and gently dabs the cotton on the cut. Jimin hisses and jolts his leg as the solution on the cotton stings.

"Stay still..." Jungkook coaxes and tries again but Jimin's leg wouldn't stop moving and the man seemed to be in too much pain. 

As a last resort, he straddles the man. Jimin immediately looks up at the man on his lap. "You wouldn't stop moving..." he excuses. "Try not to concentrate on the pain." 

Jungkook felt like his heart would jump out of his chest. He could feel Jimin's eyes on him but he doesn't dare to look up. Instead, he concentrates on patching the wound up. Jimin didn't make any noise, his hands simply gripped the sheets on either side.

After patching it Jungkook was ready to move away but something caught his eye that he hadn't noticed before. A tattoo on his ribcage reading in bold letters 'NEVERMIND'. He couldn't stop his fingers from trailing upwards and tracing the beautiful art. Jungkook had many tattoos, he knows the symbolism behind them and how much they mean to him, so he loved to see other people's tattoos too.

Jungkook doesn't realize what he was doing until Jimin's hand cups Jungkook. His hand was so gentle and so small compared to Jungkook's that he felt like cooing. For such a dangerous man he had the cutest aspects. 

Jimin slowly guides his hand to his neck. Staring at someone's eyes shouldn't feel so pure. Jungkook felt like crying. The way Jimin held him made him feel good. His eyes slowly flicker down to the man's plump lips and he sees Jimin do the same thing.

After a few seconds of hesitance, Jungkook swallows and slowly leans in to press their lips together. He couldn't resist. It seemed so inviting and he felt like being kissed at that moment (by Jimin). Jimin kisses him back gently. Nothing but soft lips caressing each other, providing so much comfort than ever felt before.

Jimin's hands hover a little before carefully holding Jungkook's waist. They simply kissed, with no tongue, no expectations, no provocations, just need for comfort. Jungkook's hands cup Jimin's face to pull him closer. They kissed as if they wanted this their entire life, as if they needed it.

The room was filled with soft contented breaths as they kissed each other with more force. It was as if their bodies knew they wanted this and shut off any voice in their mind saying otherwise. But somehow, as if a switch flicked, Jimin pushes Jungkook onto the bed and gets up from the bed.

"What are we doing?" he pants. "Aren't we supposed to hate each other?"

"I don't know. It doesn't feel like it." All Jungkook knew at that moment was that he needed Jimin.

"I'm supposed to hate you, but... I can't." Jimin furrows his brows and turns around to face the younger sitting on the bed.

Jungkook sighs. "I don't want to think about the consequences right now. Whatever we're doing, I like it. Can't we just not think about it?"

"But this is so confusing..." 

"I know but I don't want to care. Can't we just hate each other tomorrow? I'm tired and I just- I need you." Jungkook whines.

Jimin's eyes widen subtly at the statement but still remain soft. He slowly climbs back into bed and pulls Jungkook close after a short peck on the lips. After he switches the light off they cuddle together, ignoring every small voice in their head claiming that this was wrong. It was easy since every voice dulled out and was replaced with a voice chanting about how perfect they were for each other's arms. 

Vulnerability brings out your true feelings. Something they didn't know then.