Fall "Who wouldn't fall for you?"

TWENTY NINE

That is the last time that I saw him.

Everything goes back to normal. I attend my classes and do the things that I need to do when I was gone. These past few days I became busy with my studies. Here in our dorm, we became more conscious and careful about our surroundings. I became neater. I double the cleaning of our dorm. I was now taking care of myself. I'm now feeling so well. My body is now okay. Everything's okay aside from my heart.

I feel empty.

It's been a week... Again, I feel a little pang of pain in my heart. I look around. I'm now eating my Isaw here in Sunken Garden. I'm sitting on the grass. I bow my head. I don't want to admit it but...I felt disappointed. I already accept it in myself that I miss him. There is nothing wrong to be true to yourself. I can't do anything about it anymore, I can't deny it... I'm fallen. The only thing that I can do right now is to stand up and move on.

Move on? Napailing ako. Pero hindi naman naging kami.

Kumagat ulit ako sa stick ng isaw ko. Hindi man lang kase siya nagpaalam sa akin. I pouted. He doesn't need to inform you. Ano ka ba niya?

I hissed.

I hope again. Maybe I just want to be with him more. Ang hirap din kase nung biglaang mawawala. Ang hirap kapag nasanay ka na. Ang hirap kapag lagi mo siyang nakikita, nakakasama, at nakakausap. Tapos isang araw bigla ka nalang magigising wala na siya. He's already gone.

Napabuntong hininga ako. Kung ano ano nanamang iniisip ko. Can't I just forget him? Paano ko ba siya makakalimutan?

I took a deep breath. I stand up from my sit. It's getting dark. I need to go home.

I was now walking on my way to our dorm. Wala sina Hershey at Liezl ngayon. They go home to their parents' house. While me I can't go home this week, I need to do something here in UP this weekend. Walang tao ngayon sa dorm. The reason why I am still here outside and not going home early. Kapag kase magisa ako at masyadong tahimik ang paligid kung ano anong iniisip ko. I always tend to think too much. Which makes my heart feel so heavier.

I opened the door and get inside quietly. I shook my head. Nakakamiss din talaga yung pagiging maingay nung dalwang 'yon. Lalo na kapag gabi. They always pester me to cook for their dinner. They really don't know how to cook. I taught them but they didn't really learn. Napagod lang ako sa paulit ulit na pagtuturo sa kanila. 

I change my clothes and prepare my things for tomorrow. I need to go to the library for our group meeting about business laws. I put my laptop inside my bag and done!

I lean on the sofa and look at the clock. It's already 9:30 am. I closed my eyes. I'm still not sleepy. Hindi nanaman ako makakatulog ng maaga nito. Ilang araw na akong puyat dahil sa hindi ako dalawin ng antok. Masyadong maraming gumugulo sa utak ko. I sighed. At least I should try to sleep, right? Aalis ako bukas. Ayokong sabog na umalis bukas, Business Laws yung aaralin namin. Baka mabaliw na ako lalo nito.

I was about to stand up from the sofa when my phone ring. My forehead creased. I look at the caller's number and my mouth parted. I blink my eyes twice. Namamalik mata ata ako. I intently look at my phone...it is still ringing. Bigla bumilis yung tibok ng puso ko. I am not dreaming. Gising na gising pa ako! Biglang nanginig yung mga kamay ko.