✔my sunflower • Lee Felix✔

16 🌻

My eyes shot open again as a loud thunder roar sounded from closeby. Tears already welled up as another one followed. I instantly grabbed my plushie, holding onto it as tight as possible. Where was Lix when I needed him?

"Felix!" I shouted from his balcony, standing drenching in the rain. "Lix, please!" I shouted once more, banging on his door as loud as I could. Just as his door opened another roar sounded, this time even closer, louder, longer. I instantly crouched down, putting my hands over my ears. Felix picked me up, lifting me inside while closing the door behind him with his foot. He gently lay me down on the bed, laying down next me to while hugging me tighter. "Don't worry, it's okay. I'm here."

Soon my door bursted open, making me fall from my bed in fright. "Y/N?" Felix called out. My eyes shot open, instantly looking up to see him completely drenched. Without even thinking twice I ran into his arms, feeling his sneak around waist. "Sssh, it's okay, I'm here" Felix repeated over and over, softly stroking my hair as he gave me small kisses on the top of my head.

"What about Seo-Yeon?" I asked quietly, still holding onto him tightly. Felix let out a sigh. "We talked for a bit, but we're not dating or anything, I can't do that to the group. Besides, I don't even know if I still like her" he said, lessening his tight grip as the thunder seemed to have stopped. I looked up at him, recognizing a tear between the raindrops. "Lix..." I called out silently, wiping his tear away.

Felix sat down on his bed, this time with dry clothes while I brought up some tea. Chan seemed to had left already, so I had to make sure to thank him later. I carefully opened the door, seeing Felix with a forced smile. "You know you don't have to pretend around me that you're fine right?" I said, handing him a cup. His smile instantly disappeared, laying his head on my shoulder as I sat next to him. "What really happened out there?"

Felix took a sip of his tea, giving him a few seconds to calm down a bit first. "It really wasn't much in all honesty... I ran after her, much to her shock. I apologized for sending her away, so I went with her to her hotel room for a bit to talk further, especially since she never really explained anything. She apologized as well for how everything went, and told me she still had feelings for me, even after all these years..."

My eyes shot open wider. "What did you say?" I asked nervously. Felix laughed, but it wasn't rather happy sounding at all. "Before I could answer I heard thunder, so I yelled I had to go and ran here without even thinking" he answered, taking another sip. "Then... What are you planning on saying? I mean, you're not just going to leave it at this are you?" He shook his head, putting the tea down and falling back on the bed. "I really don't know, Y/N. I honestly wish I did. I won't date her of course, at least until my dating ban is over, but after... I really don't have a clue."

I nodded silently. It was bound to happen right? I couldn't just hold onto him like before, he had a life of his own without me as well now. No matter how much I wanted to be part of it, it wouldn't be the way it used to anymore. I gave him a small smile again, looking down at my hands which were holding my cup of tea. Don't be too sad, at least he's by your side again for now.

"I think I'm gonna try to get some more sleep, I'm pretty tired" I eventually said, quickly finishing the drink. "Don't think about it too much yet you know? It'll be at least a couple of years before you are allowed to date right? You'll still have time, so don't worry too much" I said without looking at him, already standing up.

Felix grabbed my wrist, stopping me from moving. "Y/N... I know something's up, so don't leave me in the blue here" he said softly, finally making my tears spill without a sound. Tears of heartbreak, sadness, all the hope I had gained again being washed away with them, but how could I tell him? It would probably ruin our friendship, so having him by my side as friends would still be better than not having him besides me at all.

Yet I still couldn't face him. I wish I could just look at him and smile the way I used to, so why couldn't I? Why did I have to fall for someone that didn't like me back? Why, why, why? It was tearing me apart. "I'm just having a bad night that's all" I finally answered, taking my wrist out of his grip again. "Goodnight Lix" I quickly whispered, walking out of his room.

As soon as I closed my door I fell to the ground, actually breaking down. Is this what it felt like to have your heart broken? It was clear he was still in love with her, even if he didn't notice himself. It was so clear, so why did I still want to keep my hopes up when I knew they were going to be crushed? Why would he still act so sweet and actually give me hope when his heart belonged to someone else?

Maybe it would be better to just give up...