✔my sunflower • Lee Felix✔

32 🌻

The silence seemed to be never ending, even though it only a couple of seconds. I couldn't say anything, because whatever I'd say to him would probably only hurt him more. "Y/N, look at me" Chan said calmly. How was I supposed to face him? Yes, I liked him a lot, but was I completely over Felix. After what Seo-Yeon told me in no way. I knew it was wrong, and if only Chan knew how much I was trying to get him out of my mind, but this was a complete mess. I was a complete mess.

"Y/N, look at me, please" he pleaded once more. I finally looked at him, my heart breaking as I saw his hurt eyes. He stared into my eyes, already knowing he wouldn't get the answer in words. He broke off the stare, about to walk away when I desperately reached for his hand, instead only just holding onto the sleeve of his hoodie. "Wait, Chan!" I called out, this time it was me who became desperate. I didn't want him to be hurt. I couldn't let him leave like this.

"I know. I know too that I can't love him anymore, even a little bit. I'm trying so, so hard, but it's not easy to forget someone with whom you've been in love for a decade! I'm really trying, I swear, so please don't leave me" I almost cried out. Chan finally turned back to me, yet with a horribly frustrated look. He finally let out a sigh, taking me into his arms without a word. The stress and frustration in us both made room for a warm and comforting feeling.

After a minute or so Chan let go again, with now instead a weak smile. "We'll figure all this out later, for now let's find Felix shall we?" I nodded, keeping a hold on his hand. "Is the lunch for tomorrow with your parents still on?" I asked in a small voice. I messed up horribly, I knew that, but I really wanted to make this work. Chan nodded, intertwining his fingers with mine. "I already told my parents, so I'm taking you with me whether you want to or not" he chuckled, finally smiling genuinely again. Thank goodness.

It was already about 5 in the morning, but nothing. We all split up, while Minho went home in case he came back, but no one found him. I told them all places I could think of, but nothing. The swings, our 24/7 shop where we'd always get ice cream, our old school, the sunflower field. He wasn't even with Seo-Yeon, who's flight would be leaving in 2 days. He still wouldn't pick up his calls either. It was like a nightmare come true.

"Baby, I think we should head back for the night. Te boys will continue looking tomorrow okay? I'll make sure they call us when they find. I'm sure he's okay" Chan asked softly, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. "How am I supposed to leave when Lix is missing" I asked, however already yawning. Though my mind was fully occupied, my body was definitely reaching it's limit.

"I know princess, but we should at least try..." He glanced over at me. "Do you want me to cancel the lunch?" I looked back at him, instantly shaking my head. "No no no, you already told them, I'm sure they were already planning everything. Tomorrow, or rather today, at 11, I'll be out. I promise." Chan smiled, kissing my hand as we finally started walking back home.

"I'm sure the boys will find him okay? Don't worry, it'll be okay." I nodded, finally allowing my tiredness to take over me. "Y/N, Chan!" Jisung called out as he and Seungmin came walking home as well. Jisung glanced around with a disappointed sigh. "I guess you two didn't have any luck either huh?" We both shook our heads. "Let's just hope he's inside..."

Minho already opened the door. "Did you guys find him?" I looked up at Chan again, only feeling more and more discouraged. That means he wasn't at home either. Minho fell quiet as well as he quickly noticed the gloomy mood. "The others are already inside, come in."

I tugged on Chan's hand, making him turn to me. "I'm gonna go back home in case he decides to come back, you should get some sleep okay?" Chan looked at me worried. "Will you be okay alone? Do you need me to stay with you?" I shook my head, slowly letting go of his hand. "I'll be fine. Get some rest okay?" Chan gave me one final peck on the lips, still feeling uneasy about it. "Just text me if you change your mind okay?"

I went back inside. "Lix?" I called out, but of course he wasn't here. I knew it, but there was still a tiny flame of hope in me. I fell down on the couch, getting myself a blanket and turning on the TV. If he'd come home I'd notice right away.

The TV was going on in the background as I was mainly trying battle my eyes for trying to stay open. It was already 10 in the morning, and I hadn't slept a wink. I groaned, getting up. I turned on the coffee machine, making myself one. I needed all the help I could get with staying awake now. As soon as it was done I tried to drink it, slightly burning my lips in the process.

My phone rang, instantly making me turning around. I set the cup of coffee back on the kitchen, coffee spilling over my hand. My eyes fell on the caller ID, making my heart race. "Lix!" I yelled immediately. I could hear his breathing shake, his voice unstable, cries coming through as he called out.

"Y/N, please give me a reason not to go, I don't want to leave you again!"