Unrequited [ON HOLD]

2.0

// chapter twenty. //

I spent majority of Saturday and Sunday trying to reach Riley. But all my texts were ignored, all my calls were forwarded to voicemail. It's Monday now and I plan on confronting her at school. I just have to explain myself, if she'll let me. And if I know Riley at all, she won't.

Going through all my morning classes was tiresome, as it always is. I planned on speaking to Riley at lunch. I was relieved to see that she was eating in the same room we have spent our last two months worth of lunches in.

She sits at at desk by herself, her hair was a mess. Probably from running her fingers through it when she doesn't understand something. I walked slowly over to her desk, careful not to make any noise.

"Hello, asshole." Riley said without even looking up. "You have a lot of nerve coming here, you know."

"Look, I'm your tutor. I'm here to tutor you, we don't have to talk." I was only half lying.

"Funny you should mention it, I actually talked to my math teacher. Turns out he's okay with tutoring me again, so you are no longer needed."

Ignoring her I take my seat across from her. She has yet to actually look up at me, but she continues working on her math. I take out some of my own homework, but chemistry is much less interesting than Riley. Once again I find myself staring at her, her pencil flows across the page quickly. Only slowing down slightly when she stops to inspect what she is writing.

"Staring is not appreciated." Riley says quickly.

"Sorry, you're a little distracting." I say honestly. I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish, she's not going to fall for my shit again.

"Lucas, I don't know what you are doing here." Riley huffs out. She knits her eyebrows together at something on her paper.

"Look, I'm here to apologize. What I did was really shitty. I've wanted to tell you for a while I swear. When it all started out it was just about sleeping with you but then I got to know you and-"

"Shut up." Riley looks up at me finally and when her eyes find me they are ice. "Save yourself the embarrassment of your shit apology. You wanted to tell me for awhile? Then why did you wait until I was drunk? Oh yeah because you thought you could sweet talk me into your bed, just like you are trying to do now. You don't care about me, you never have. I gotta give you props though, you were really convincing. Helping me with my math, being nice to my little sister, comforting me when I was being a freak. Oh and how could I forget all the loving staring? God, you did it all the time. I really thought you liked me, I really thought I liked you. But now? I hate you. I hate you Lucas Owens and I hope you have a nice f.ucking life. But when you have a daughter just remember to tell her that your idea of fun in high school was making bets with your buddies about who could get a girl in bed the fastest. Don't try to talk to me again or I will make you regret it." Riley stood up and threw all her books into her backpack before walking away.

Wow, she really knows how to make me feel like shit. But I deserve this, I don't deserve her.

---
"So Owens, from what I've heard Riley hates you again. Which means you probably won't get her before Christmas. Do you wanna just give it up now?" Ian said smugly as he reached me in the parking lot after school.

"Shut up. This stupid game is lame anyway." I said as I took my keys out of my pocket, the last thing I need right now is his shit.

"Well I'll take that as a forfeit. Tell you what, if you can bag Sadie Thomson before Christmas I'll let you off the hook." Ian placed his hand on my door, preventing me from opening my door.

"No dude, I'm done with this game. It's f.ucking dumb." I was beginning to get irritated. First, the girl I like expresses her returned hate for me and now this asshole won't let me go home.

"You can't just drop the game, we have been doing this since freshmen year." Ian smiles, but it's not sincere.

"Well, this is me, dropping it." And with that I shove his hand off the door so that I could leave.

What I wasn't expecting though, was for Ian to punch me once I got my key in the door. I always knew Ian was a coward, but not cowardly enough to punch me when I wasn't looking. Nonetheless, I turn around and punch him right back. My fist hits him right on the cheek bone and I swear I hear it make contact.

Next thing I know we are in a full blown fist fight, complete with a circle of students around us. "Come on Ian, cut this out. We don't have to do this." I speak so only he can hear.

"What, you afraid to hit me? Come on let's get this over with so I can go and f.uck Riley." Ian says cockily and that's all I need to deliver another punch to his face. "Hit me harder Owens. You should know that I f.ucked her in tenth grade. She was good too, too bad I left her alone in the room afterwards."

He's lying. I know he's lying. He's just talking shit to throw me off. He's trying to get to me, and he is. While I think this over he gets in a hit to my face. "She was trashed too, no telling what else happened that night."

This sets me off, next thing I know I'm beating the shit out of him. I see his blood on my hands but I don't care. I'm punching him because he's an asshole, and because he's the reason Riley hates me, and because of everything else that's f.ucked up in my life. I only stop when I'm pulled away and I see two guys go over to Ian. He has a black eye and he is bleeding from his nose and mouth. Shit, did I do that?

"Yeah, you did. Shit man what happened." I recognize Elliott's voice and I look up to see him and Cason dragging me away.

"I don't know. I don't know what happened. I was trying to go home but he wouldn't leave me alone. He punched me while I wasn't looking then he started talking shit about Riley and I got so mad. I don't know what happened, shit I didn't mean to hurt him oh god." I'm rambling and I don't know what's going on. I've never felt like this before, my chest feels tight and my hands are shaking.

"It's okay dude, that dick had it coming. We'll take you home it's okay." They walk me over to my car and put me in the back seat. The car ride is painfully silent so all I can do is think. I think about Ian's bloody face, I think about the fact that his blood is on my knuckles. I think about how Claire will react when Riley tells her how much of an asshole I am. I think about Riley saying she liked me. I think about what Ian said, it wasn't true, right?

Before I know it I'm crying like a little bitch. I'm crying because all I've done recently is hurt people. All I've ever done is hurt people. I'm hyperventilating by now and I think I hear Cason ask if I'm okay. I'm not. Oh god I'm not. I can't get my hands to stop shaking and I'm sobbing like a baby. I don't know what's going on but I hate this. Riley hates me. Ian hates me. Claire hates me. My parents hate me. They're all right, I hate me too.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh god I'm so sorry." I don't know who I'm talking to. But I hope they know I'm sorry.