Unrequited [ON HOLD]

2.1

// chapter twenty-one. //

We must've pulled up into my driveway without me noticing because next thing I knew Cason and Elliott were at my sides trying to calm me down. I couldn't breathe and my mind was racing.

"What the f.uck is wrong with him?!" Elliott yelled over my sobbing he had a hand on my shoulder but that was only making it worse.

"I'm pretty sure he's having a panic attack, stop touching him and give him a minute, this should be the worst of it." I don't know how I heard Cason, he was so calm. Elliott must have heard him too though because he withdrew his hand.

After another five minutes of my freaking out I finally started to feel better. My breathing returned to steady and my hands stopped shaking. I was finally able to focus my thoughts and I took a deep breathe.

"Okay, okay I'm good." I looked up at Cason and Elliott, they held doubtful expressions. "Seriously I'm fine."

"Alright, whatever you say but I think we are still gonna go inside with you and make sure you're all right." The three of us walked to my house and went inside. It was empty, no surprise there.

"So any parties tonight?" I turned around and asked the boys. If there was one, they'd know about it.

"Yeah, one on the other side of town. Andrew Black's parents are out of town so he's throwing one. On a Monday night though, that's so stupid. No one is gonna be there." Elliott explained.

"Let's go." I said quickly. A party meant alcohol and alcohol meant no thinking. Parties also meant girls. Cason and Elliott exchanged looks. "Come on guys, I need this."

"I don't know man, you just had a panic attack about a girl. Are you sure you want to go to a party?" Cason said, leave it to him to be the voice of reason.

"If he wants to go we should take him. I'm sure he wants to get shit faced. You sure though Lukey?" Elliott asked, god I hate that nickname.

"Yeah I'm f.ucking sure let's go." I started walking to the door. "And don't call me that."

----

The party had just started when we got there but I didn't care. That meant less people to have to fight off for beer. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle then returned to the living room. Only a few people were here, only about six girls but I knew after awhile this place would be crawling with them. So for the time being I stood against the wall and downed bottle after bottle.

I was right, an hour later the house was full and I was drunk. Stumbling around the room I ran into Elliott. "Duuuude!" I yelled.

"Oh shit, you're trashed." Elliott sighed. "You ready to go?"

"Are you kidding? F.uck no I'm not ready to go. I'm not drunk enough, I can still see her face." I pushed away from Elliott and went back into the crowd so he couldn't follow me.

"Hi, you're Lucas right?" I turned to the sound of the voice. It was a girl, she was in my English class, I think. I can't be expected to remember things right now.

"Yep. That's me. Asshole extraordinaire." I said with a lazy smile.

The girl, she hadn't told me her name yet, put her arm on my shoulder. I think she was trying to flirt with me. "I don't think you're an asshole, you're actually kinda cute." Oh yeah, definitely trying to flirt. Might as well play along, I need this.

"Well you're kinda hot too." The words felt weird coming out of my mouth. Sure, this girl was attractive, but not like Riley. Shit, why am I still thinking about her?

"Woah there buddy, I never said you were hot." No name said, bringing me out of my haze. Her face was closer to mine, was she gonna kiss me? I can't bring any of my thoughts together.

"Oh really?" I didn't know I said it until the words reached my ears. We were so close, and before I knew it, her lips were on mine. There was nothing slow about this kiss, she was determined. This was good, I needed this. But, I couldn't do it.

I broke away from her lips. "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I said stepping back, but she took a step forward.

"What, still whipped over that bitch Riley?" Her words surprised me, how did people know about that. I didn't reply because I felt my chest tightening. Not this again, I pushed my way through the crowd until I was outside. In the backyard, I think.

My mind was still clouded due to the alcohol intake and I had to sit down. My breathing was picking up and I felt myself taking out my phone. I scrolled through my texts until I found her name. Messages of me begging for her to answer my calls pop up. God I miss her.

I start typing before I can stop myself.

To: Riles
look i know i did a shit thing but you're the only good thing i have in my life right now

To: Riles
riley im drunk im so drunk right now

To: Riles
im at a party there's so many girls. oh god there's so many. one of them kissed me. she was pretty, but her eyes weren't the same color as yours. she was shorter than you too and her voice was too high. riley i miss you so much please be my friend again

To: Riles
im crying again, i don't know what's wrong with me. i punched ian today. he was being a dick and said some shit about you. it made me really mad.

To: Riles
im sorry riley, this is all my fault and im sorry. i really want to be friends again.

To: Riles
i lied, i don't want to be your friend, i want to kiss you and hold your hand. i wanna be with you babe. im sorry.

To: Riles
ok i'll stop now, im sorry.

Now I'm full on sobbing, again. I need to get my shit together. I put my head in my hands and just sit there for a couple minutes.

"Found him." I hear someone yell, Cason. "Come on dude let's take you home, I think you've had enough for tonight." Cason helped me off my feet and we left the party.