Chasing waves

Lost in thought

Lottie pov

Waking up in a comfy bed I have no idea how I even got hear but I'm not going to complain as I rather sleep in a comfy bed then wake up with aches and pain of sleeping by my parents grave stone. Sitting up on my bed I turn my phone back on only to receive texts from Darren, and everyone. I knew I should of text somebody telling them I was safe but as I go though the messages Katie make pops up

Katie: where are you Lottie, don't you disappear like that without a word
Katie: you know I'm here when you need to talk and btw my father bought you home when uncle Steven rang him to see if you was at ours. We was worried about you Lottie never forget we love you.

Reading Katie texted I put my phone back on the night stand not reading anyone else's messages, I can't deal with thinking about it right now, at first I think about staying in bed eating loads of junk food but instead I throw my swimming clothes on before escaping out the house without waking anyone up, everyone probably up but I don't want them worrying about me. Grabbing my surf board from the shed outside I paddle out in the ocean wanting to practice a little, I know Darren won't be out here practicing as I know he has the next round of the completion this morning or afternoon so he be getting ready, I hate to have him think about me during the round and lose focus but he heart me, a way no one else could. Sitting on the surf board I start paddling when a wave comes, I only look back for a couple of seconds to get the timing right but looking back I didn't realise how big the wave was. Blinking a couple of times I face the front ready for the drop and when I do I get hit and fall backwards into the wave, what feels like forever without oxygen I finally make it back to the top but only to get hit by another wave, fighting against the current to the top my board comes free from my ankle strap and breaks into two. Gasping for air I reach the surface annoyed with myself, I let him inside my head and I get dragged under by two massive waves
"Damn" i hit the water annoyed, swimming back to the beach i pick up my two piece of surf board before walking back over to the house, throwing the broken surf board on the floor by the door, why cant anything go right today. Heading upstairs i throw a pair of shorts on and a sports bra before heading back out, i don't fancy staying in the house with everyone in wanting to cheer me up.

Letting my feet do the walking i end up at the men's surfing completion, moving myself i stand right at the back next to a tree, out of sight out of mind for him anyway. As I'm looking around i don't see Lacey or Linda anywhere shouldn't they be cheering on Darren with kissing him yesterday. I probably know I'm overacting and there's a perfect reason why they two was kissing but i don't want to here it, or the conversation where he tells me who he picked as I'm no one second choice and will never be either. Watching from afar it doesn't take me long to know something is bothering Darren as he doesn't look happy on the waves and he made a couple of errors, it looks like he's beating himself up. As i watch the rest of the completion my eyes linger on Darren from time to time but this time it felt like he was looking at me when i turned my head to him, i don't know if he actually was as I'm almost impossible to find in a crowd place like the beach. Turning my back i head back where ever my feet are going to carry me i been here to long now, walking back to the house i take my time I'm sure the family are aware of me coming back after they seen me pretty much run out earlier to my surprise.

Reaching the house i stand by the door for a couple of seconds debating with myself whether to walk in or not even though i know its only my grandparents and auntie who lives here I know my uncles and everyone comes over all the time, finally bringing myself to open the door I set into the kitchen where auntie Sarah is cooking, it smells like cookies, as she mixing another patch I grab a cup of water wanting to pinch one if there ready
"You want to help? You can mix the eggs and flour together" nodding i take the whisk from my auntie are start stirring, anything to get my mind of what happened earlier in the ocean and yesterday. I don't know how long i was stirring for but i know there all mixed together only for my auntie to add chocolate chips to it with a smile, no one can say no to her homemade cookies. As i mix them together she pulls the tray out the oven with the first patch of cookies and the smell carries only for the boys to come rushing into the kitchen, only if I had my phone, never come in between us and food
"Hands off boys" auntie Sarah shouts slamming hands away from her cookies, a smile appears on my face as the boys walk away picking there bottom lip up that was dragging on the floor. Sarah just laughs as she places them by the window to cool down, I'm pretty sure she counted them to make sure there still there when she gets back. Helping my auntie hasn't been as bad as i thought it would of been, she didn't ask no questions apart from the average one of 'you ok' other then that i had a laugh getting flour everywhere and sneaking a cookie before anyone noticed. It was a laugh.

Finishing up i grab a blanket and head down to the beach it has become my favourites spot when i have a lot on my mind but this time the stars are out and shining bight. Wrapping my self in the blanket i lay down looking at the stars just thinking to myself knowing the brightest pair are my parents, even though they aren't with me physically i know there always looking out for me above. Just laying there my mind doesn't race instead I'm relaxed thinking about the good times i had with my parents at grandparents house, there's been a lot of memories here and now i have a lot of new memories here with my uncles, cousins and auntie. Its been nice having memories to remember everyone by instead of remembering the day that took my parents away from me and almost taking my life with them but I'm here now and living for the three of us.