Chasing waves

Training

Thursday

I finish reading the letter with tears running down my face, I generally do miss them a lot. After reading the letter I sit there for few more minutes thinking about my parents before I head back inside, facing the consequences from hitting Darren girlfriend who deserved it if I'm honest, crazy like her cousin. I slowly stand to my feet not wanting to leave but as I watch the moon light reflect of the ocean, a beautiful view, I know I have head inside. I start to head inside but before I open the back door I take a deep breath not sure what everyone going to say about the accident but as I walk though the back door, my uncle Jason is stood in the kitchen getting a drink but I stand still at the back foot but he walks up to me, wiping away the tears that are left on my cheeks.

I hand him the letter that grandad gave me and I watch as his eyes scan from left to right reading the letter, I know he's going to laugh about not being my number one fan or the second but I know he understands everything written on the page. Hopefully they don't actually being the no boys thing till i'm thirty as what sane women can wait that long. 

"Told you they was proud. I'll happily be your number 3 fan along with the rest of the family. I agree with your father, no boys" uncle Jason says holding his arms out for me to hug him and I step into him giving him a hug, I really could do with a hug from him today as its has been a frustrating day to say the least however I am thankful he hasn't said nothing about the fight. 

"I know, your proud. I don't have boys drooling over me anyway so no problem" I say the last part laughing as I know he would scare any boyfriend anyway. We stand there for a good couple of minutes in silent and just hugging, 

"Does that mean you help me back on the board" I say out of no where, I'm not sure if I'll ever be completely ready but I want to do this for my parents, i want them to be proud of me. I want to be proud of myself for doing something. I just wish my parents could see me right now asking for help. 

"Of course. I'll be happy to, I though you never ask" uncle says with a wide smile on his face, he hugs me and leaves the kitchen getting a early night for tomorrow suddenly I regret asking for help from him as I know it be intense but also interesting as it was never easy in the beginning when I wanted to surf. 

I stand alone in the kitchen, looking though the fridge, I'm always hungry, I'm addict to food shocking. Standing with the fridge door open I begin to think about what happened early with Darren girlfriend wondering if she knew who I was when she first met me or if she was just playing nice. I don't know even how Darren ended up with her as they both seem like two different people but they do say opposite attract but she was a nut case. As i'm stood there thinking I hear foot steps on the floor and hoping its not my cousin right now. 

"I was hoping to run into you" I hear Darren say from behind me, he lending against the door watching me pick a hand full of food before sticking it in my mouth, looking at him he seems a little calmer then before when I ran out of my cousin house. I give him a smile unsure how I feel about his sentence he just said. 

"You found me, I don't regret hitting you girlfriend, she had it coming" I say to him crossing my arms trying to look intimidating, he walks to the counter looking at me with a smile. Deep down I can see he doesn't care about his girlfriend or he wouldn't have closed the gap between us, I don't know how I feel about him getting close but he's pretty good looking. 

"I know, I just wanted to apologise for what she said, we heard every word from the argument. I broke up with her. Can you take my apology" Darren says with a upset look on his face. I know it's not of his fault, he doesn't need to apologise as his girlfriend was the one who was being a bitch and doesn't deserved Darren 

"I'll accept your apology, if you do this thing for me" I say with a grin on my face as he has helped me earlier and I want him to carry on helping, he seems to be there when I need someone who isn't family and he was the first people to push me with two feet. 

"you name it" he says with a smile on his face stepping closer to me, for some reason I think he knows what I'm about to say but he just wants me to use my words, I hate boys sometimes. I bite my lower lip before saying anything hoping I am reading this correctly. 

"Help me get back on the board? My uncle helping as well" I say, I know he can surf so he can teach me a little and I can teach him what I know. We can help each other as I know my uncle isn't a spring chicken anymore, lets just hope I don't say that out loud as uncle would prove he's still got it otherwise. 

"You got a deal, tomorrow morning" he says with a wink before leaving the kitchen. I grab a few chocolate bar and head to bed, long day tomorrow with both of them. Don't know how this is going to go with both of them but hopefully good.

Waking up at the crack on dawn wasn't what I had in mind when I asked for help as uncle Jason is stood at the door trying to wake me up but I just want to go back to sleep that I throw a pillow over my face, if I don't see him it doesn't count but clearly that doesn't work as he grabs the pillow from me and hits me in the face with it, I can't help but roll my eyes at him 

"How mature of you" I say rolling out of bed and walking over to him annoyed at how early he woke me up and how he did it, its worst when everyone jumps on me but i'm sure he's still got time to plan that if I don't climb out of bed now. 

"Come on, we are burning sun light" I hear Jason say behind walking off leaving me to get ready but I'm definitely regret asking him for help as he's going to work me a little too hard for my liking. Finishing up I quietly make my way downstairs as I don't want to wake everyone up as it's still too early for him, I make my way outside where uncle Jason is stood with Darren. 

"Come on little one, we paddle a little further out this time and we work on the waves" I hear Jason say but I look at him as I only managed little ones so far and not sure how Ill handle bigger ones

Following my uncle lead I paddle a little behind him but when he dips under the wave I go over as I'm afraid of seeing my parents die in front of me when I close my eyes, as soon as we are the furthest out my uncle barely touches the water to feel when a wave is coming which I have yet to master, as soon as my uncle tells me to start paddling I do and as soon as I'm about to drop I back out as I can't do it. I'm terrified I wish this could be a little easier to do 

"Would it be a little easier if I was right beside you. We can do it together and as we drop you tell me what's going though your head" I hear Darren say and I just nod as I'm not sure even if I'm ready to talk about what I'm seeing but it's worth the try right.

Waiting patiently for a wave I set off and start paddling with Darren beside me and he starts talking to me calming me down and trying to stop me from overthink 

"Every time I drop on a wave I see my parents in the car crash and then I see myself drowning" I say as we drop down on the wave and I fall under and when I do I see my parents life less body in the car. I start panicking and screaming as I'm struggling to breath, I'm pulling waving my arms trying to reach the top but I can't without Jason helping me. It's going to be a long next couple of days.