Let's Play Pretend - former (pending ) Realize... (Completed and being edited)

after a bitter-sweet refrain and Silverthorne in the making...

JN's POV

I see you, beside me
It's only a dream
A Vision of what used to be
The laughter, the sorrow
Pictures in time
Fading to memories

A school year has ended... Mas lalo kaming hindi magkikita... ang uwian niya ay oras ng pasukan ko...

How could I ever let you go?
Is it too late to let you know?

I try to run from your side
But each place I hide
only reminds me of you
When i turn out all the lights
Even the night
only reminds me of you

I know it was my fault... pero di ko naman ata makakayanan na makita siyang masaya sa piling ni Cy Cy habang ako... saling pusa lamang... Mas minabuti kong lumayo... pero bakit pakiramdam ko mali...

I try to run from your side
But each place I hide
only reminds me of you
When i turn out all the lights
Even the night
only reminds me of you

I lost her... tama si Candy... I could lose what I never had... Gusto kong maging masaya para sa dalawang taong mahal ko... pero bakit ganun? bakit para akong pinatay?

Everything we've been through before
Now it means so much more

I try to run from your side
But each place I hide
only reminds me of you
When i turn out all the lights
Even the night
only reminds me of you

Akala ko ba manhid ka na, bakit ka nasasaktan ngayon? Gago ka pala eh!

So come back to me
I'm down on my knees
Girl can't you see...


How could I ever let you go
Is it too late to late to let you know


..only reminds me of you..

Medyo pumiyok na ako sa huling part ng kanta... I felt tears running down my face....

Andito nga ako sa kwarto ko, pero bakit pati dito, I feel suffocated... Wala na akong matakbuhan... 

Kahit saan naman ako magpunta, it's the same feeling... kahit nga pagtugtug ng gitara para na akong sinasakal....

I let the guitar down... kinuha ko ang unan ko at niyakap... Shit! Amoy Vanilla... bakit kasi binili bili ko pa ang perfume na yun... 

Pero yun ang ginagamit kong pampatulog... kaya nga amoy Vanilla ang buo kong room...

Since summer vacation started andito lang ako sa kwarto ko... nakakulong... I've shut myself out from a world of sunshine.... just like what I did with her...

May narinig akong mahinang katok sa pinto ko... "JN? Could we come in?" Si Kuya yung nasa labas, and I'm sure Jena is there...

"Why?" I asked...

"Could we talk..." si Jena ang nagsabi nun..

"I'll be out... give me 3 minutes..."They Left after that... 

Tinignan ko sarili ko sa salamin... I really look like a zombie/vampire ang putla, walang buhay...

I composed myself... ready for another pretense... ganito na lang ba palagi... pretense?

Dun na nila ako hinintay sa may porch... A place na ayaw ko ng tambayan....

Jena was smiling while looking at Kuya... Si kuya naman... trying hard na kantahan itong si Jena.... Ewwwww! Sobrang Korni nila

"Ahem!" Tinawag ko muna pansin nila... Pasensya na, ampalaya Plus ako ngayon...

Naupo na ako sa sofa, since they both decided to sit on the same chair, ewan kung bakit nila gusto dun umupo sa masikip na chair, mga adik!

I strummed the guitar, then asked without looking at them... "What's up guys?"

"JN, naaalala mo ba kung anong araw ngayong Saturday?" tanong ni kuya sa akin...

"Birthday mo" yun lang sagot ko...

"Buti naman naalala mo kundi magtatampo ako... Well we decided na mag beach outing tayo magbabarkada..." sabi ni Kuya sa akin

"Don't worry, malabong andun si Ate... para kasing di siya papayagan ng mga Vileafuerte... She is on training to be one of them..." Jena said that..." I just thought you need to know that... We won't take no for an answer JN... You are coming with us... kapatid mo si LJ... "

I could sense her anger... alam ko nasa limit na ng pasensya si Jena... Well It's a change of scenery and phase... ok na rin yun... wala naman siya... Si Cy Cy lang ang nandoon... I could deal with that...

"No need to fuss over it Jena... I'll go, birthday ng kapatid ko yan... I'll be the one to do all the cooking..." This time I looked at them... Nagulat sila... it has been a long time since I last cooked...

"JN..." Jena said pero she is frowning now... "I don't understand the two of you talaga... "

"Bakit niyo sinasaktan mga sarili niyo?" 

Di nagsink in sa utak ko ang sinabi niya... pero parang isang pana na tumama yun sa puso ko...

"What do you mean Jena?"

"You've changed... Ate has changed... We feel like strangers sa inyong dalawa... kahit siblings niyo kami..." She looked at me longingly... para bang nakikita niya ang ate niya sa akin... Why do I have a feeling she missed her ate... 

"Why? What happened to her?" ewan kung bakit ko natanong yun...

Nagulat si Jena at kuya sa tanong ko... yet Jena answered... "Since, you guys fell out... she is no longer the girl we knew... parang, like you she shut the worl out"

"I don't believe you... that is not what I see..." Sagot ko sa kanila...

"Sometimes your eyes will deceive you JN..." Kuya said...

"Dahly may smile... She may act ok, minsan loka loka pa rin pero... Mas madalas na siyang mag-isa ngayon... She busied herself... although she is trying hard to make time para sa grupo and kay Cy Cy, still may iba na talaga sa kanya... hindi na siya yung dating colorful na ray of sunshine... lalo na ngayon na she is soon to become a Silverthorne... She will be one of the Vileafuerte na..." Si Kuya ang maysabi... 

"Silverthrone? VIleafuerte? You are not making sense guys don't you know that?"

Si Jena na ang nag-explain... "Remember Shysie? Isa siyang Vileafuerte a very powerful empire not just here but in other countries as well... Their Semi-adopted Children are initiated into being a Silverthorne...You know ate... She is beyond a normal genius when it comes to Journalism, and her mind works more than a normal student or even a normal IQ... She has an IQ at par with Einstein... Because of that she was chosen to be a Silverthorne... which means... isa na siya sa empire na ito..."

"2 weeks before nagstart ang vacation... Ate was invited to start training na sa Silverthorne HQ... She would still be Dahly Mae Tiu, pero this time JN... She is a completely different person... She will be freaking rich and powerful... lalo siyang naging busy... Happy ako for her... Even Mama and Dadi are proud... Who would have thought na ang abnormal kung ate ay born to be one of them..."

There is nothing wrong with her joining them... pero ok sana yun if she was not getting worst everyday... She has become a complete stranger na... Kahit si Shysie, worried nga..."

I could see worry in her eyes... Tinignan ko lang si Jena... Bumuntong hininga ako... "I see no reason why that concerns me Jena... She has Cy Cy now..." and with that I left them... kinulong ko ulit ang sarili ko sa kwarto...

Mas lalo ata lumayo agwat natin Dahly... I should let you go now...