We Can See STARS

Future Chapter 4: Late November/Early December 2024

I laid silently in bed by myself in the midday. Sleep didn't come as easily these days and naps became part of my everyday routine. The house was silent save for the occasional on off of the central heating. I looked at my phone for the 10th time in an hour. Nothing, yet. I put my phone down on the bed and let out a big sigh, my hands instinctively going to my huge belly. As the months went by, I got to learn the curves of our baby. I talked to him, sang to him, felt him kick me and felt around his tiny developing body. He still had a couple months to finish cooking but things were starting to get uncomfortable. Sleeping was hard, getting up was hard, sometimes even breathing was hard. I never thought I would even get pregnant, but here we were.

When we first found out, I was beyond shocked. I cried for a few days before I let myself be excited about it. Every so often, a stroll down the baby aisle of whatever store I was in still brought those feelings back. But since we decided on a name for him, it was becoming more real. My little boy was nice and active and awake. I felt around for him, hand on his head and hand on what I thought was his little bum.

From the beginning of this new adventure for us, Jamie has been beyond ecstatic. When we first heard our little guy's heartbeat, he squeezed my hand and did his best to keep tears away. I wiped his tears away as I was feeling my own brimming up. And when we found out our baby was a boy, Jamie went out that day and got a full hockey kit for kids. Sticks, a net, tiny goalie equipment. He, of course, loved my growing belly. He'd come up behind me and kiss on my neck while feeling around my stomach. He'd put his head on it while we were sitting on the couch or laying in bed. Leaving for road trips was already so hard for him but now I could tell it took everything in him to leave me, leave us. He would kiss my lips and my belly over and over.

Seeing his feelings through all of this helped me when I had mixed feelings. I wanted to match his excitement. The poor guy went through hell with all my phases. But he never showed it. I know I was also going through it for sure. I worried my body wouldn't be the same and I would give up but Jamie promised he'd be with me through it. 'No matter where, no matter what.' Jamie and I still wore our bracelets but mostly when he was on the road. It meant as much to me now as when he first gave it to me. I fingered the links in the bracelet and his engraved initials. We had been married for 3 years before the baby came around. I think we had a certain 3 foot silver cup to thank for that.

After a few years of getting within a round or two of the finals, the Stars finally won it. The team celebrated all summer and Jamie and I pretty much the whole week after. What a week! Jamie was pretty wound up which is usually the time he's reaching for me....or himself. At 32, he was now considered one of the older guys in the locker room. But showed no signs of stopping. I was still so happy for him to be able to keep playing in the NHL and I wanted to do what I could to help support him while he still could. I always went on road trips when I could although I was sure it would be more difficult with a baby in tow.

Finally, I felt my phone buzz. "Hey kid, are you awake?" Five years with this guy and he still kept that pet name. My favorite. "Yes, my love, no sleeping for me." He FaceTimed me shortly. When his face appeared, I immediately smiled. "I miss you J."

"I miss you too doll."

"What are you up to?"

"We just got in from practice. I'm gonna try and catch a nap and then we've got a game."

"Who are you playing?"

"Montreal."

I usually tried to keep up with the schedule. We kept a copy of it on the fridge but I tended to forget. "Wow...is it freezing?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. I can handle it, I just wish I was home."

"I wish you were here too. It was just a little cold today, about 60."