Breaking Rules

28.

3 weeks later...

I had been out of hospital for 2 week and 3 days now. It was Sunday and I would be back school the next day and I was kind of excited. I didn't have to be in a wheelchair or anything since I literally refused. 

When I left the hospital I got Iris' number, she was sad to see me go but tried to cover it up by making fun of me. She actually took me out for ice cream 2 weeks after the shooting which was nice.

Lovely anniversary to celebrate.

Jason and Amie had also been visiting almost daily. Jason still blamed himself, bless him. 

My brother's new job in the skate shop was going well. He gifted me and Jason boards and we had been out a couple of times and were pretty good. We would practice tricks on the road outside 7/11 and Kat and Amie would sit with slushies and laugh when we fell. 

The first week out of the hospital was horrible. I slept on the sofa since it hurt too much to go up the stairs but after my 2 week check up I was aloud to put more strain on myself. So since I couldn't run yet I was now a skater girl. Pretty cool compromise. 

Thalia and I had spoken a bit. The first 2 weeks she'd call me daily from rehab as I recovered but the past week the calls had slowed a little. She only got round to visiting me once when I was still in hospital so I hadn't seen her since then which was a bit of a bummer. Whenever we did speak though, it seemed as if she was recovering more and more which made me happy. 

Our last phone call she told me she was working through the 12 step program which I only had a vague idea about but she began talking to me really deeply about the steps. I loved hearing her talk about her recovery and how she was finding forgiveness in herself while asking others to forgive her. Apparently she'd found God?

I wasn't religious myself but I wanted to support her in anything she was doing to help herself so I did some research on things she spoke about to get a clearer understanding. That's how you know I feel something strong for that woman. I'm studying for her in my spare time.

I didn't know what we were. She mentioned that it wasn't the best idea for her to be in a relationship since she was focusing on herself. As long as she was okay, I was.

I tried attempted another kick flip in the small car park in front of my apartment building and successfully landed. "Fuck yes." I murmered to myself.

"Harp!" My brother shouted from his car and nodded his head to call me over.

I had booked to get more tattoos that day. I decided if I died tomorrow, I'd look cooler with more tattoos and it would give the autopsy person more to look at.

Amie slapped the back of my head when I joked that that was the reason, when they were at my house the other day, and called me morbid as Jason tried to hold back a laugh. 

The real reason was I thought they were cool. Simple as that. I hopped in Isaac's car ad we drove to his friends tattoo parlour. I was still a little wary of being in a car, whenever a cop car went past my hands got clammy and my breathing sped up.

Loud noises affected me as well. Some football team won a game a few days ago and the fireworks gave me a panic attack. Jason, Amie and my brother had to comfort me after I collapsed and started crying on the kitchen floor. Ugh, fuck trauma.

We left the tattoo parlour many hours later, my cheeks hurt from smiling at the newest addictions to my inked body.