Until the end.
This is the end. The final end of us.
Loud music. Wild people. Beating of my heart. Tears flowing because of heartache.
Sinipat ko ng tingin si Derek nang problemado niyang inaagaw ang bote ng whiskey sa kamay ko. He looked at me with full of concern in his eyes. Kung tignan niya ako'y awang awa siya sa itsura ko.
Umirap ako. I don't need envy. I need to breath. I need alcohol. I need to get drunk to be numb. I can't just sit there, crying because I'm broken. No. Nasaktan ako pero hindi ako loner.
Derek extended his hand with a handkerchief. "Wipe your tears, Hazeth. 'Yan ang napapala mo kakagusto sa maling tao."
I giggled and reached for his hand. "We both liked a wrong person, my friend."
Tumango siya habang nakatitig sa akin. "Mukha nga."
Tinungga ko ang whiskey. Halos kalahating oras na kami ni Derek dito sa hindi ko kilalang club. We're far away from Puerto Alcala. Sabi niya ay bunganga na raw ito ng El Vicente. Hindi ko alam na ganoon kalayo ang drinive namin. Kanina'y nasa beach pa lang ako!
Gumuhit sa lalamunan ko ang pait ng alak. I felt the heat on my throat down to my stomach. I drank too much yet I feel like its not enough. Paano ba naman kasi ay ang boring naman sa sofa na pinili ni Derek. The dance floor isn't even visible here! Sabi ko ay hindi ako loner pero pinapamukha niyang loner ako!
I grabbed the Martini on the side. I raised it to Derek like asking it I could drink it. He rolled his eyes. Ininom ko iyon. Its not like I'm not going to drink it if he shook his head.
"Zeth, enough drinking please. Hindi ko alam kung paano kita iuuwi, utang na loob."
"Just take me to some hotel. Doon na lang ako papalipas." I sipped on his drink. Sumandal ako sa couch habang sinisipsip iyon.
"Hell, no." He laughed sarcastically. "Do you want me to get ambushed by your cousins?"
Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "They won't know!"
"I doubt that. One of your cousins is like running a private investigation company."
"Sino naman?" Taka kong tanong.
"Sean Lester!"
Umirap ako at humalakhak. Hindi ko din alam. Pinanganak na iyong chismoso. And maybe yes, he's running a private investigation team. Ang dami naman kasi niyang source. Hindi ko kaya.
I'm really glad that Derek's my friend. Hindi ko alam kung papaano siya pasasalamatan. Kanina, he didn't ask me on what's going on or what's the problem. He just take me to where I want. He really wants me to tell him naturally what is my problem. I admire him for that.
I admire him for not getting tired of my dramas. Lalo na't sa tingin ko'y gusto niya ako. And yet he's still giving me comfort. He knows how to handle me as a friend and no feelings involved. Siguro nga'y kahit papaano dapat sinagot ko na lang siya dati.
Derek will be a good man as my boyfriend. He will not cheat. And his mom is nice.
Tumawa ako sa ideyang iyon. Tinignan ako ni Derek na may kunot ang noo. Feeling niya siguro'y nababaliw na ako dito.
Mabigat ang mata ko siyang tinignan. "Can I ask you something?"
"What?" He played with his martini on his hands.
"Kung mahal mo ba ako-"
"What a question." He laughed.
I glared at him. "I'm serious!"
