When I look back in my life, I see pain, mistakes and heartaches. When I look in the mirror, I see strength, learned lessons, and pride in myself.
- Ritu Ghatourey
In life, we make a lot of mistakes and I have felt a lot of pain. But the pain and the mistakes we made, I believe that it made me more stronger and wise for making the best decisions in my life. We will never run away from the mistakes we did, yes, but we will eventually learn a lesson from it.
Sometimes, it takes heartache to shake us awake. It takes pain to make us realize our worth. It takes heartbreaking memories to make us realize that it was all worth it.
People say, heartache is the first stage of moving on. Sa una, iiyak ka talaga at masasaktan. Kapag iniyak mo na lahat, sooner or later, makakalimutan mo na lahat. Tatawanan mo na lang ang karanasan mong iyon.
But somehow, I don't believe that. I don't know or its just me but heartache has been forever my issue. From the day it began, it never left me.
Sinundan ko ng tingin si Isla nang tumakbo siya sa kabilang section ng isang convenient store kung nasaan kami ngayon. I combed my hair because of irritation. My curled hair bounced because of my sudden combing.
"Do you have this in another color? Like.." Huminto ako at nag isip ng paboritong kulay ni Isla. "Red?"
"Ay! Meron po, ma'am! Kukunin ko po ba?"
I nodded and glanced at the path that Isla went. "Yes, please."
Umalis ang saleslady at iniwan ako doon para maghintay para sa binilin ko sa kaniya. I'm still holding the other pair of Isla's blue doll shoes. This is what she's been asking for so long. Ngayon ko lang ito nabili sa kaniya since ngayon lang naman ako nagkafree time.
At isa pa, compared before, I have other things to rely my money on. I'm earning something for the future. Hindi na kasi ako nakakapag ipon masyado dahil ginugugol ko na lang sa pansarili kong kasiyahan. Which is not right.
Speaking of Isla, sinilip ko ang kabilang section. Toy section. Bumuntong hininga ako nang makita ko siya sa bike areas. Mag isa siya doon na inosenteng niriring ang bells ng mga bikes. She tucked the hair falling down to her pinkish cheek. Ang maliliit niyang mga daliri ay ginagalaw galaw ang mga bells doon.
I smiled and approached her.
"What's that?"
"Bike, Mimi." She said like it was 'obviously, duh'.
I fixed her long straight hair. I dressed her up a while ago. Well, it's not that bad. Isang yellow flowery dress ang pinasuot ko at puting doll shoes. Match pa ang kulay light yellow na clip niya. I feel like I'm really good in this thing when it comes to parenting.
I smiled. "May bike ka na, ah?"
She puckered her lips. "I'm just checking, po. I won't make you buy it. You already bought me my shoes."
This kid is completely my opposite. She doesn't like spending money. Ang sapatos na binili ko para sa kaniya ay ilang beses pa niya tinanggihan. She said she has a lot of shoes in the house. I admire her for being like that.
That's actually good. Magandang habang bata pa siya ay alam na niya ang kahagalahan ng pera at pagtitipid. Not like me. Well, magastos naman talaga ako. Pero ginagastos ko lang sa mga bagay na kailangan ko.
"I'll go check your shoes. Ayos ka lang ba dito?"
She nodded without looking at me. Pinipihit ng maliliit niyang daliri ang hawakan ng bike. I let her do that besides she won't break anything, she's a good girl. And if she does, then I'll pay for it.
