tea - dreamnotfound

a balanced diet

i carefully measure up a deciliter of oatmeal, removing a piece as it was over the line. then i pour it into a glass bowl, sprinkling a few blueberries on top. today's breakfast. one of my favorites actually, healthy and small in size but still keeps me full for a while.

i've decided i need to cut down on the food a lot because of dream visiting. first of all i need to make sure i'm extra pretty for when he comes over, and secondly it'll be good if i'm forced to eat much more during his stay so to not make him suspicious. i'll just have some more tea tonight.

as i sit down and eat my oatmeal i get a message from the man himself.

dream 💕
could you give me your address?

george
what? are you already here?

dream 💕
no, i just 🥺 need it
no specific reason
don't ask

george
ok i won't ask then

i cautiously give him my address, still unsure of what he's planning. is he gonna surprise me? i don't know if i like surprises.

dream 💕
thank youuu, see you on friday

i finish my breakfast, putting the bowl in the dishwasher. what now? dream and i aren't recording or planning anything today, meaning my schedule is pretty much empty. i have no one to talk to apart from me and dreams' mutual friends, and they're all asleep by now since they live in america. my other friends left me long ago when i started shutting them out, one by one. it's all my fault. they were nice people.

i look out the window to be met with blinding sunlight and a clear blue sky. maybe i should take a walk? i haven't really been outside in ages. i just never had a reason to leave my apartment these past few months apart from going grocery shopping, and i don't do that often. some fresh air would probably do me good.

i throw my long dark brown coat on as i know it'll be chilly, noticing that it feels bigger than usual. it makes me smile and feel good about myself.

the leaves are starting to lose their vibrant green colors as autumn is fast approaching. soon they'll be on the ground, just as dark as my coat. i love taking photos during this time of year. nature doesn't get quite as colorful at any other point.

i wish i could become a professional photographer or artist or something, but i lack all the talent. i'm sub-par, as usual. and besides, youtube and twitch is going pretty well at the moment. i have a decent source of income already. but who knows, maybe if all this goes to hell i'll have to switch up my career one day.

i stop by a park to sit down and enjoy the last of september. the sun's rays reflect off of the nearby lake. a few boats peacefully float by. i close my eyes to try and relax for just a couple of minutes, but all i can think of is dream. i don't know what he looks like, but he's given me a description. dirt blonde hair, green eyes, faint freckles, tall as fuck. i try to imagine him like that, quickly getting lost in my thoughts.