First Love

Chapter 35

Yoongi went out to the rooftop garden at the hospital. It was deserted at that hour and he was glad the garden lamp were still on despite the time and lack of visitors. He wore his cap low and pulled his jacket tight as he sat at one of the benches.

When he said he needed to get out, he meant that he needed to clear his head and think. Not leave the hospital for good.

He didn't know how to respond after Jae dropped that bombshell. Yoongi thought what Jae wanted to tell him was only about Chin Hwa. He had some time to recover from that shock after Ki Tae told him. Who would have thought that there was more? He didn't expect her to be wanting to pay the long overdue royalty fee for his songs. Like he told her before, it was not even her debt to begin with. He was hurt when she kept on wanting to pay it.

Yoongi still felt the same as it was before.

He didn't care for the money. He just wanted to be recognized for what he did. At that time he wanted to know that he had a fighting chance in the music industry. Nothing else. The recognition was long overdue and people had already forgotten about the song. He was still a rookie then and he knew his songs were still too raw and unpolished for the listeners. It was true that he struggled, juggling part time jobs and choosing between food and bus fares, but in the end, what he did was for himself. He survived and succeed.

That didn't happen for Jae. Chin Hwa was still manipulating her even in his coma.

The challenges she was facing now is mostly due to her brother from the moment she quit Juilliard. The debt was his last straw. Jae could use that money for Chin Hwa's hospital bills or anything else that she needed but he didn't think that she could accept that. She would rather live in a godforsaken building just to get enough money for someone else and left nothing for herself.

When would she be able to live for herself?

Would she be trapped, living for her brother her whole life? Yoongi didn't want that for Jae. She had too much potential and talent to be tied down. The possibilities are endless and she could do more. Yoongi needed to talk to someone but it was already 1.45 a.m. and anyone that he call would be thoroughly annoyed. He didn't think that they would be able to give a sound advice at that hour either.

How could he tell someone he loves that her brother is a first class bastard? Yoongi shook his head. He never planned to do that. Ki Tae's advice rang in his head. Don't let Chin Hwa ruin their relationship. Whether he likes it or not, that guy is still Jae's brother. He really need to work this out with Jae.

Yoongi gazed at the clear night sky. That brought him back to the night of their date at Hannam-dong. She didn't say much about her dreams other than being a princess in a medieval castle. He wondered about it afterwards. She's a songwriter now but does she really want to stay at the background when she could actually fly high as a classical musician?

Another one of her questions echoed in his head. Did he hate her back then?

After Yoongi's confrontation with Chin Hwa, a letter from her came right away. She was cheerful in it writing about what she did, where she went and what she accomplished. He despised her that very moment. She was right. He did call her a spoilt selfish brat – and more. He thought she only cared for herself.

Their first encounter at the dance studio after all those years was exactly what Yoongi thought of Jae then. He accused her of stealing his work like her brother stole his. He knew he was wrong about her.

Yoongi sighed. He should get back to Jae. He admit, it was wrong just to leave her like that in the midst of their talk. She's the only person he needed to talk to now. Not anyone else. He felt suffocated then and didn't want to say anything that he would regret later. Living with the other BTS members for years had taught him to clear off any misunderstandings and problems before the day ends. That was what he was planning to do.