First Love

Chapter 53

After her nap that day while waiting for Yoongi to finish off the letters, she found herself waking up to him right in front of her line of view. He moved the coffee table near to the book rack and was sitting cross-legged against it. He looked pensive that made Jae sat up straight away. "What's wrong?" she asked.

He didn't say much. He just pulled her into his arms and held her tight. "Are you happy now? Really happy?" he asked, not moving an inch.

"I have you here with me, a roof over my head, food to fill my stomach, and I'm doing what I like. How can I not be happy?" Jae asked, pulling herself back and looked at him in question.

"You're not living through your Plan A," said Yoongi.

"Plan A transformed into something better. If Plan A is still in effect, I don't think I would be here with you. My Plan B was actually to survive. Just plain and easy but definitely not that simple at that time," she paused. "Do I want to change what happened in the past? Definitely no. So yes, I'm happy," said Jae. "A plan doesn't have to be set in stone. It is called a plan for a reason, not 'Do or Die'. I had gone through my hurdles, you went through your tough times too. I know you were struggling financially and nearly quit as a trainee but you made it through. I made it through my obstacles too. I have no regrets and that's what matters."

"Your last letter..."

"I was really breaking myself away from you, then," she cut him off. "I don't want you to pity me. I was pathetic, don't you think? Normal people would stop at 3 or 5 letters. I pushed through for years. I must be a freak," said Jae.

"You're not a freak. You're resilient," said Yoongi.

"I felt lost when I wrote that last letter. I didn't have anything to offer to you when I didn't even have my life figured out. It was comical actually when I think about it. At that point you'd already gained a steady support from the people around you, so I stopped. I don't even want to show negativity in my letters. Besides, what does an empty shell has to offer?" she scoffed.

"Don't say that, Jae. You were not an empty shell. You were positive and encouraging."

"As to why I didn't want to start being the opposite. I'm not telling you to make you feel bad. I'm just telling you what I felt at that time. I had to grow up real quick and face the music. No pun intended," she said. "I survived. Don't feel bad about what happened in the past. That had to occur for today to take place. I'd just have to suck it up then and face forward."

Yoongi kissed the top of her head in response "I've been meaning to ask you. What drove you to keep on writing?"

"You really want to know why?"

"I know you like me, I get it. But just liking a person alone won't make you keep on writing throughout those years. That requires dedication."

"I just don't want you to feel alone," said Jae.

"Alone? What makes you think that?" Yoongi was curious.

"When I talked to your mom, she didn't say it out loud but I could sense she was against your ambition of becoming a musician. I saw what you could do and you have that thirst and determination. I kept on writing. I just want you to know that I am still here cheering you up no matter what happens," explained Jae. "And I honestly was hoping you would write back. But hey, you did reply but didn't post it out, and you are reading my letters now. Better late than never, right?"

"Jae..." he started.

"Don't worry. We're here now and that's what matters," she comforted him. She knew he was feeling guilty and she didn't want that.

"You had just quit your studies when you wrote the last letter. Am I right?" he prod.

"Yes. I had to venture into a new territory. My brother sold everything off and at that time I knew my life was going to change forever. It was more difficult for him than it was for me. He was used to the wealth and opulence but as for me, mama and daddy kept my foster siblings and I grounded. They're really rich but they prefer a normal and humble life. I was really lucky," Jae smiled at the memory. Her foster family didn't mind much spending on basic necessity but when it comes to expensive but not that necessary things they want, her foster parents made them work for it.

"They sound like great people," responded Yoongi.

"They are. Now I felt so bad for not contacting them all these years. I was afraid they wouldn't want to have anything to do with me after Chin Hwa lost everything," said Jae. "My mom's family sure didn't want to have anything to do with us."

"I got nothing good to say about that side of your family," said Yoongi. "From what you wrote in your letters, I know your foster family won't turn you away if you approach them."

"You were right. I had an earful when we got reunited. Even Grandpa Han who never talked that much before went on a tirade. That was a real surprise," Jae recollected. "Danny put me in a headlock for thinking such thing. He said Noah told him to do that in his place if I came but I know he would do that regardless of what Noah said. Noah even made a video call just to babble away at me," Jae was smiling widely and Yoongi knew she loves her foster family a lot and the feeling was mutual.

"They love you. I love you too," he kissed her hand.

"And I love you," Jae laughed afterwards.

Yoongi raised his brows. "What's so funny?"

'When Grandma Han told me about this grandson of her friend, I told them about you. Everyone there didn't believe me at all. They thought I was still infatuated with you. So there I was showing them your picture that I took of you, telling them we're together. Grandma Han whipped out her mobile phone straight away and showed every one of us her picture gallery. She has your pictures in it so she said, that makes you her boyfriend too. Everyone's jaw dropped and Grandpa Han was definitely not amused," she guffawed.

He grinned widely, "ARMY transcends the age boundary, that's for sure," he commented. "I think I'm going to like your Grandma Han."

"You're her bias. Of course you would like her," Jae rolled her eyes. "They were convinced I was just fan-girling after all these years and that you were my make believe boyfriend. They wanted me to go for a date with a real person. Your parents actually saved me when they gave me the banchan at the train terminal."

"That's good," commented Yoongi. "Jae, I don't want you to go on a date with anyone but me."

"Me too. Just you," said Jae. "Speaking of which, my foster parents will be staying for a day in Seoul on New Year's day before their flight back to NY. They want to meet you, if you don't mind."

"I can work through that. Just tell me when," he reassured her.

"Cool. I'll tell them after this. Anyway, I'm hungry and I want to prepare dinner," she said, changing the subject as she looked at the clock. It was near to 7.30 p.m.

"Let's go out. I want to bring you somewhere else after dinner," said Yoongi.

"Where to?" asked Jae.

"Just wear something comfortable and put on your trainers," said Yoongi.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see," he winked at her.