No One's POV
A heavy silence settled over them, thicker than the uneasy tension in the atmosphere. Unsettled eyes glanced unceremoniously around and tried to avoid catching other glances given from time to time. Kara shifted uncomfortably in her seat and Lena grasped her sweaty, nervous hands under the tables.
Like hail on a glass pane, the drumming of Lena's fingers was as relentless as it was loud. Each click of the french polished nails on the table echoed the tumultuous thudding of her heartbeat. Her face, rigid with tension, belied her youthfulness, she seemed to have aged a decade in the past few hours.
Kara's wasn't better either.
Lena's POV
I can feel the fear in my chest waiting to take over. Perhaps it only wants to protect me but there really isn't any danger; at least that's what I'm telling myself. It sits there like an angry ball propelling me towards anxiety I just don't need.
All the reasons not to do this come flooding in, as if my body chemistry just sent them a blanket invitation. I feel the soft panic that can grow or fade depending on what I do next. It will fade if I back away, but then I have to do this all again another time. It will grow if I let these thoughts swirl into a vortex of stupidity, eating their own tail. Or I can breathe real slow, let the thoughts leak into the ether and be the real boss of me.
"You broke me. Shredded every bit I had left in me. I trusted you with everything, I gave you my all and you decided to tear my heart in two. You lied to my face a million times, from the first day I met you, I thought we had something special but I guess I was wrong. I was wrong about a lot of things, your radiant smile and your blue eyes were enough to fool me. I opened up to you about my past, my present and even my present but all the while you were playing me and I fell for it. And that one is on me for believing that anyone could ever believe in me. A Luthor of all the people. I should have known better. I shouldn't have trusted you, I shouldn't have trusted any of you" my legs are losing balance, it's like I'm being broken all over again
"But, I believe in you, Lena. I really do" she responds calmly
"NO! you don't get to say that" a raise my voice as my frustrations get the better of me
"Say what? That I believe in you? Because I do. It's true. I mean it. I meant everything I said to you. I never lied to you about anything except for not telling you about my identity" her rage is rising, I can see her clench her fist. It's like she is trying to tell me something but she's holding back, so I decided to give her time
"Then why did you?" I ask
"I don't know" as soon as she answers my question, I can almost feel my legs wobble. I can't take this anymore
"Then we are done here. There is nothing to talk about, you can go back to living your double life and as for us, we are done. I have said what needed to be said and I'm at peace with it" I regretted it as soon the words left my mouth
"Are you though? Because I'm not, I have a million things to tell you but when I get the chance to tell you, the words can't come out of my mouth. It's like someone glues my mouth when I look into your eyes and I see the pain I caused you and I hate myself for it. But if you want me gone, I will leave but please do me a favour and look me in the eye and tell me that our story ends here, that we are done" I can see the pain through her eyes but that is not fooling me this time
"You took something away from me, something so dear to me and broke it into a million pieces. Of all the people it had to be 'YOU' Kara, I wish it could have been someone else but it's not, it's you. It had to be you" I can't go back, I have to be done with all this
"I'm sorry," she says
"That's not going to change anything, is it? I think we are done here" I voice my statement clearly
"Okay! Message received, I'll leave you alone. But just so you know, I'm always going to be there for you Lena. Nothing is ever going to change that. I'm just a 'beep' away" everything about her sentence betrays her, you can tell she is really trying to hold on but she is not going to last for long
"Goodbye Kara"
"It's not 'goodbye' for me Lena"
YOU ARE READING
I Trusted Her
Fanfiction"You know, for someone who claims to stand for hope, justice and everything good, you clearly have the wrong definition on what they mean, because you sure as hell did a number on me" Will they ever come back from it? Read to find out
