Reincarnated extra refuses to die

Arc 1. Chapter 6-6

The place I woke up to was an open, dreary field.

There were dead trees, the soil was dry and cracked, and the sky was gloomy and gray, full of clouds that looked ready to pour down on me. I frowned, my eyes moving from right to left, then turning around, taking in my surroundings. As far as the eye could see, there was nothing else but the desolate panorama surrounding me.

I looked down at myself, surprised to find my body wrapped in a stark white dress. I was barefoot too.

This... was I dead? Did I finally die, despite all my attempts at surviving? Was the demon too much for my body to bear because I was unprepared to hold it?

I bit my lip, feeling my eyes getting warm and wetness accumulating behind my eyelids. So much effort, so much pain... all for nothing! In the end I couldn't save myself. A single moment of distraction was all it took for everything to go to hell. If only I had been more attentive, if only I had not been so concentrated on Mathias and his strange change...

Wait.

I blinked, remembering something I had deemed as insignificant then, but that now came back in a rush of realization.

Wasn't Lucas closer to the viscount's body?

Why then, did he catch me, instead of his own son, who would have been more appropriate for the transfer?

Was I just thinking too much?

I pursed my lips, clenching my fists at my sides and tensing my body, all in order to keep myself from crying, but no matter how much I tried, those treacherous tears still fell down my eyes. How stupid, I'm dead and I can still cry? Ridiculous.

I sat on the ground, hugging my knees to my chest and letting my emotions flow out of me. I recovered my memories for nothing. I did the impossible and more for nothing. If I had been more intelligent, if I had stayed in the camp instead of wanting to go back to the castle only so that I could see the viscount dying with my own eyes, then I wouldn't be here right now. Dead, and waiting for who knows what. Heaven? Hell? Or another reincarnation?

If I'm going to be reincarnated again, then please, God, don't choose another shonen manga. In fact, don't choose any piece of fiction in existence from my original world. Just a normal, tranquil world, where I don't have to worry about any of this shit.

Something soft was pushed against my arms. A sweet fragrance invaded my nose. I looked up.

The first thing I saw was a deep red flower in front of my face. I recognized it immediately. A spider lily.

The second thing I noticed was the hand holding the flower to me.

The third thing I noticed was Lucas, kneeling in front of me and looking at me with gentle eyes.

I blinked through the tears.

"L-Lucas...?" I asked, dumbfounded. What was he doing here?

As soon as that name left my lips, Lucas frowned. He tilted his head and it was only in that moment I realized he was slightly different from the Lucas I knew. He was older, his hair was longer, and his eyes... somehow, the way his eyes shone, it was not the same. Less innocent and more... guarded.

This was not Lucas, even if he looked like him a lot.

"Lucas" the stranger said, tasting the name on his tongue as if it was something rotten. "Why would you call me by my father's name?"

Something cold and electric ran down my spine, travelling from the center of my chest to the tips of my fingers. I jumped, stepping away from him as I looked at him in terror.