Conversations Between Moon And The Sunshine Kid (Mighty Boosh One-shot Book)

Vince Noir's Diary.

Synopsis: Boarding school au/Character study/Diary entry from Vince. Hair, school, gossip, philosophy and Howard are discussed.

This is honestly just me trying to learn how to write Vince a little better. Use your mind tank and imagine this is written in crayon and full of spelling mistakes.

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Dear diary,
                 Sorry, I didn't write yesterday, Leroy got mono so me and Howard had the dorm to ourselves.

 In our free time, we went to the forest by the river and skimmed stones. I was genius at it. We couldn't kiss or anything, because Molly James and creepy Joe could see us from the courtyard. I wouldn't have minded kissing him in front of them, but Howard gets a little iffy about displaying affection in public.

We aren't boyfriends or anything, but we're definitely in love. Like, we hug and kiss and all that, but Howard still insists he isn't gay.  It started out as us both experimenting, but I think I accidentally fell in love with him.

I talked to Naboo about it, because I didn't know how I felt. Though he put it in fashion terms for me. He compared Howard to my straighteners, which makes sense to me. And I guess I understand it a bit more now.

I hope Howard loves me back, but I'm not bringing it up. I really don't want him to chuck me or think I'm weird.

Howard's birthday is coming up soon, on Saturday. Birthdays are genius at the academy, we get cupcakes and extra free time.

I bought Howard two presents this year, a Jazz record by one of his favourite composers (Tangerine Scat by Big-eye Montgomery) and an orange and brown striped jumper.

I made the jumper myself because I've recently learned how to knit. I kept it simple and practical because Howard wouldn't wear it otherwise. It's also quite soft and warm because winter is coming up. I know he doesn't appreciate clothes as much as he should, but I worked really hard on it and I hope he'll like it.

I had detention earlier with Mr Fossil. It was for not wearing the proper uniform again. I think that if silver gogo boots are banned, then the dress code is wrong. Though when I was there I saw Naboo (drugs on school grounds), Joey Moose (got in a scrap) and Lisa Dean (scrapping Joey Moose) in the isolation room.

Headmaster Bainbridge was lurking again and pulled me to the side in lesson 3. He told me I'd got a U in my English Literature mock, and If I couldn't get my grades up, I'd have to look into extra help sessions. I managed to persuade him to let Howard tutor me instead so I don't have to go to a study group or anything.

He sent a letter home to Bryan about my grades. He's probably fuming at me. I won't see him until half term though, so he might forget.

Our exams are in a month, so people have started revising more. I haven't, I want to but I just can't stay focused. I tried to explain it to Bainbridge but he just said I'm lazy and need to work harder. I think it's unfair because I AM working hard, it's just that it's not going in.

I was talking to Leroy (before he got mono) and he said that Miss Gideon, our English teacher, was going on maternity leave right before our exams. She's actually quite nice and helped me and Howard revise.

Though she told me I shouldn't have hinted that Eric Birling was bisexual and cite my gaydar as a source (a valid claim).

When we were in town, I got a new pair of hair straighteners (Nikki Clarke, hottest you can get). They're genius, but even the handle burns you, I've got to hold it through 6 layers of kitchen roll. They straighten great though, as long as you lump on with the heat protection spray.

Howard says that using straighteners is going to make all of my hair fall out, but I don't believe him. I always use heat protection spray and do 2 hair masks a week. Naboo also gave me some of his miracle hair wax for my birthday. His family run a salon that makes their own products. The stuff is genius, it's no wonder that Naboo's hair is so shiny.

Anyway, I'm running out of room on the page, so I'll see you tomorrow.

             Vince x