Dear Diary

After rain comes..

Dear Diary..
The last months have been hard on me..
I have tried to eat properly and I have had a lot of help from Richi and Till with this, but I feel like I can not keep going like this for any longer. I need to get professional help to get me back on eating properly.
I can't lose any more weight.. then it will become dangerous.. I have talked with Richi about this. He was so supportive and he told me he would help me in any way possible. We have done some research and we thought it would be a good choice for me to go to a therapy camp for a week. Getting help with my habits.. let's hope this works out..

A few days later..

Heiko sat on the side of the bed. He wasn't feeling very good. He put his head down a bit to let the blood stream to his head. Richi noticed this and crawled to Heiko his side of the bed. He put his arms around Heiko and gave him a soft kiss on his neck.
"Are you oke?"
"No.. I am nervous.. or maybe terrified.."
"You will be oke sweetheart."
"I hope.. I am just nervous for what is waiting there for me.."
"I understand that. But you know you can message me at any time.. and you can always leave.. I would come pick you up directly.."
"I know you would.. But I need this.."
Richi hugged Heiko a bit tighter. Heiko put his hand on Richi his arm and took a deep breath.
"I should get ready.."
"Mhm.."
Heiko stood up and walked to the bathroom. Meanwhile got Richi up from the bed and took a little box from his bedside table. He walked over to Heiko his bag, that he would take with him to the therapy and he put the little box inside the bag, hiding it under some clothes. He put on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt and walked downstairs to make some coffee. He poured some coffee in a cup for Heiko to take on his drive. He had a long drive ahead of him.

Heiko walked down the stairs into the kitchen. He carried his bag with him. He put the bag on the ground next to the door. He walked over to Richi and gave him a hug. Richi held Heiko. They didn't say anything. They just stood there for a while.

Then Heiko broke the silence.
"I should get going.."
"Mhm.."
Heiko didn't look at Richi his face. He looked down at the ground.
"I... made some coffee for you for your drive."
Heiko now looked up at Richi with tears in his eyes.
"It's oke.." said Richi as he put his arms around Heiko and pulled him in for a strong hug.
"Sorry.."
"It's oke.. "
"I am just nervous.."
"Do... you want me to come with you?"
Heiko looked up at him.
"No.. I can't ask that from you. You have your own things to do.."
Richi stopped Heiko from talking and said:
" I can use a vacation.. I am coming with you."
Richi walked upstairs and grabbed some clothes.
Heiko was standing in the door opening.
"You really don't have to.."
"I want to."
When Richi was done packing his bag he walked down to the car with Heiko.
"I drive " he said.
Heiko gave Richi the key. He felt relieved and less nervous. He didn't have the right words to describe this to Richi. He sat in the passenger seat next to Richi. Richi started the car and drove off.

"Let's go to Austria".. He said with a strange looking smile. Heiko didn't know if this was a happy smile or a nervous smile.. Richi turned on the radio. Heiko sat back put his chair a bit more down and closed his eyes for a while. He focused on the songs on the radio and sang along with them in his head. This helped him to calm down some more.