Rolling Stone

part fourteen

"So Y/n now that you're a big star how do you cope with all the attention ?"

"I try not to go on my phone a lot, spend as much time with my friends, so nothing really gets to my head you know ?" I mumbled as I played a couple piano chords with no meaning.

"Does that explain why you ghosted me for months ?"

I sighed and turned to look at her, seeing as she was already giving me a certain look

"Im sorry, I didn't want you to feel unwanted, or that I forgot about you."

"So why did you do it ? I was so excited to see you grow, and not from a distance. I wanted to be there every step of the way. It made me feel as if you used me" She mumbled and looked down at her tattooed hands. I sighed and started to realize all over again how much I fucked her over. I could've just told her the truth but I decided against it because my feelings were too much to handle.

"Look, I always enjoyed your company. Once I left and we kept in touch so much. I knew it was wrong." I mumbled looking up at her and back down at the piano keys.

"At the time you were with Pete, I knew it was wrong the way I was starting to feel towards you."

"I didn't want to cause problems so I thought it would be for the best if we just kind of distanced each other" I knew I had to be transparent and clear on how I felt. She had gone so long with out an explanation that I just couldn't give her a half ass reason.

"You could've told me this, maybe we could've come to a solution together." I heard her speak up as she stood up from her place and sat down next to me.

"Ariana you wouldn't have let me. Plus I was just getting busier and busier so i guess that kind of helped not to think about it so much." I remember all the times throughout my day that she was still on my mind.

I turned to look at her and she gave me a small smile as she played a few chords.

"I wanted to be part of your journey.. not just standing on the stands. I wanted to be someone you could go to for advice.. for anything"

"you were on my mind too much for me to focus. I'm not going to lie to you, I had a massive crush on you" I chuckled and felt my cheeks hear yo a bit.

"Had ?" She asked amusingly as she raised her eyebrow slightly almost testing me.

"I didn't tell you ? I have a wife and two kids now ? Or did I forget to invite you to the wedding ?" I turned to her only for her to slap my shoulder and stand up laughing a bit.

"Hey I cancelled my wedding for you" I was laughing and then once she said that I stopped.

I turned to look at her and she gave me a small smile.

"Not fully for you, but whatever you were feeling once you left I felt it too. Kind of felt guilty for feeling that way for you when I was planning on marrying Pete." She sat down across from me and crossed her legs as she looked back at me and shrugged.

"I felt like I shouldn't be thinking of someone else this much when i'm engaged and it was for a reason. So yeah"

"You know how easily everything could've been if we both had said something back then" I mumbled taking a deep breath.

"Not so much I feel like if we were actually honest to each-other there would've been more pressure."

"Yet here we are, again. So don't leave me"

"I don't think I can be away from you anymore actually. I need a reason to keep seeing Nona" I mentioned as she came up to me again and pushed my shoulder.