My Lie in October

Chapter 19

Kousei woke up at 4:00am on Monday morning and couldn't fall back asleep. He pondered over and over again about what to do. I mean, they kissed! Several times! Are they bf/gf now? Should he ask?

Sakura was thinking the same things. She was having regrets of being a little too forward during their date. Did he love her back? More importantly, did she love him? She hoped to get those answers on Monday, though she didn't wake up early in anticipation.

They had no classes together that day but were both ready for their practice session after school. Kousei was too scared to confirm via text so he just assumed (and hoped) that both of them were still on board.

Kousei took his time walking to the practice room. When he got there, he took a deep breath before opening the door, trying to remain calm and keep his blushing cheeks unnoticeable.

When he opened the door, he saw Sakura cleaning up sheet music spread all over the floor. She was so caught up in the task that she didn't hear the door open, but she did hear his footsteps entering the room.

She turned around suddenly. "Oh hey! I was wondering when you would get here! Give me just a minute," she said as she resumed her cleaning.

Kousei walked in and got set up on the piano. "So, uh, what happened here?"

Sakura was silent as she kept organizing the pages into their rightful places. "Uh, someone left the window open, and, the the music just blew everywhere." She offered no more than that.

Kousei nodded, even though she couldn't see his face. He got his music on the stand, adjusted his seat, and started warming up with scales and arpeggios.

Once Sakura was mostly done cleaning everything up, she started getting her clarinet out and assembling it. Kousei then got out his music for the pieces associated with that instrument.

"So, uh, measure 46 a good place to start?" asked Sakura.

"Yep. You come in on measure 50, right?"

Sakura nodded and played a test note to make sure she was in tune.

Kousei started playing and Sakura came in several moments later. Around measure 65, Sakura slipped on a few notes then trailed off. Kousei soon stopped as well.

"Sorry," she said, looking down sadly. "You're doing great, it's my fault. I'm working with my teacher on aligning my articulation with my fingers. It's been a struggle."

There was a small silence, then Kousei choked out, "It's fine."

They started again and worked on some parts. The whole session was quiet and serious until they both decided that was enough for today, ending the practice session 10 minutes early.

While Sakura was slowly putting her instruments away, she said, "So, uh, do you want to talk first, or me?"

Kousei breathed in slowly and said, "You usually talk first, so let me start this time." He took one more deep breath and looked down. "I know that I may seem awkward with, this whole thing. That I'm just going with the flow. You probably think that because I don't take the initiative, I don't, uh," he gulped nervously. "I don't like you. But let me say that the statement is not true." He looked back up at her and said, "Even though I don't take the initiative, I like you." (In Japanese, he couldn't bring himself to say "suki desu" so it came out more like "zugi desu.")

Sakura had a few tears built up in her eyes. After waiting in silence to make sure Kousei was done, she gulped and said, "You see, it's kind of the opposite for me. Though I am kind of forward and take the initiative, it doesn't necessarily mean I like you."

A few tears started to form in Kousei's eyes. Sakura continued: "But it doesn't mean I don't like you! I liked you Saturday night, loved you even! That feeling stayed, and I still like you today, right now." She paused to gain composure and to think carefully about what she was going to say. "My younger sister is an impulse buyer. She always regrets her decisions. I don't want that to happen to me."

Sakura tried to lighten the mood a little. "Here's an economic example, ok? You're the product, I'm the buyer. I want you right now, but am I still going to want you a week or two from now? I'm trying to be safe and smart before I buy you." She paused a bit, then chuckled. "Sorry, that sounds really weird. But I know this product. I'm just trying to figure out if you will benefit me in the long run." She smiled and said, "I've even had the free trial and loved it!"

Both of them chuckled amid the tension in the air. "So I'm going to wait and see if I can still love all of you a week or two from now. Maybe you could do the same? I don't want to cause you harm either. Make sure you read my fine print before you decide to go through."

She stepped towards him, both of them staring into each other's eyes. "But I do look forward to using this product." She leaned forward and kissed Kousei on the cheek, then walked out of the room, leaving Kousei standing there bewildered.